Growing Forward Personal Growth Services

Sitting here in the wee hours of the morning noticing that I’ve actually been up for some time pondering over the thought of old Christmas movies and the many metaphors which are in each and every one of them.  Great old movies with the messages ringing loud and clear to be a “good girl” and so on.

Last night I watched a newer version of the Miracle on 34th Street.  Love this old movie and it made me smile.  Also loved the fact that there’s lots of ‘wake up’ calls in there as well.

Do you believe?  Well when we’re small children we do and it’s the same people (my perception totally) that teach us to believe in the outrageous and absolutely incredible things are the same people that teach us to not believe in them as we get older.  What a shame.

I’m always sharing with clients and friends how truly magnificent they are and they look at me and smile and say thanks.  To be honest there maybe a bit of appreciation in there but for the most part I wonder if they think…she’s just saying that cause she’s a coach.  The answer to that is no.  I say it because I know it to be the truth of my experience.  Something I also share with others is this.

When we’re 2 or 3, we know we’re magnificent until someone comes along and teaches us that we’re being ridiculous.  Some of those people taught us to believe in Santa and now they’re telling us something different.    When you’re a child you clearly know that ’simply anything can be’.  There is no limiting the beliefs that you hold true.  I remember watching out the living room window when I was little because I was sure that I may just be able to get a glimpse of Santa flying with his reindeers in the sky.  Somewhere along the way however, I stopped believing in things that really got me excited or lit me up from the inside out.  I’m not saying that we still need to believe in Santa or flying reindeers however believing in something rather than nothing would be a good start don’t you think?

I sit here at the age of 43 with new beliefs that others can’t comprehend and I wonder…When did others stop believing that incredible things could happen in life?  I can’t even be sure for myself when I stopped believing however one day I woke up and I knew what I no longer believed in and let me tell you that it was a really great place to start.

My life defies logic in so many ways and I share this with others because it doesn’t even make sense to me sometimes and yet it always makes me smile and I just smile and keep going.  Things don’t need to make sense to me like they used because I know that ‘miracles’ can happen when you just believe.  Believe in yourself and all things can become a reality in spite of what others may believe.

I remember last year when my daughter asked me just after Christmas if I was Santa Clause.  Hmmmm, as I sat there pondering what to say.  I came out with a simple Ho – Ho – Ho!  At first she laughed and then she left the room.  I felt tears welling up in my eyes as I know that it was the beginning of changes for her.  Maybe that’s when we stop believing.  However, I went into her room and cuddled with her and we had a chat.  Although she was pretty sure that I was ‘Santa’ she so wanted to believe that I wasn’t.  She said that I no longer had to buy a Christmas gift from Santa for her anymore or even do a sock.  I remember looking at her and smiling and saying to her, “Wait a minute.  Just because you no longer believe - it doesn’t mean that I don’t.”  She looked at me kind of confused and I smiled and continued to speak.  “There’s something magical that happens and for all intent and purpose, when I go looking for something unique and unimaginable…I become Santa.”  I still believe in the unimaginable and I won’t stop believing it for myself just because you have.

Do I believe I’m Santa?  Maybe I do and as I sit here I smile.  I believe that I’m many things and there’s no one outside of me that is going to allow me to believe different.  I believe in what ‘adults’ may believe is ‘impossible’ or ‘unimaginable’ and yet…I Still Believe.    The question is…

Do you Believe?

As I continue to see clients, create programs, gather magnificent people together and witness human evolution in the most incredible sense…well I smile as I reflect upon the most incredible things that I’ve witnessed and it’s pretty hard for me not to believe.

So do you have to believe in Santa?  Do you have to believe that you’re Santa?  The only suggestion that I’ll offer is to start by simply believing in yourSelf and to know what you knew when you were 2 or 3.  That you’re magnificent and that you can believe in whatever it is that you want to and make it your reality…in spite of other’s  beliefs.  So again I ask you and I ask you differently because you’re standing in a different place…

Do you Believe? 

Letting Go of the Past and…Growing Forward

Amy

Christmas has come and gone and now onwards to the New Year.  Lots of traditions for both and of course lets not forget New Years Resolutions.  ?

To be honest, I think traditions are great and great only if you really enjoy them.  For example, my husband, daughter and I have made ginger bread houses for the past 3-5 years and have had a ball.  (Well at least putting them together was fun.  My husband did the dough and his opinion is totally different than ours).     This year however we didn’t do the ginger bread house.  Why?  Because it simply didn’t call to us.  So as much as we could have called it ‘tradition,’ we opted not to do it this year even though we’ve done one for a few years in a row.

After having chats with friends and clients over the past few days, I wonder how much of ‘Family Traditions’ are no more than habituated response?  Truly they don’t have to do with tradition and yet have lots to do with Habit, a sense of obligation and probably not a whole hell of a lot more.  “Ohhhh…(says one of my clients) The bickering is half of the fun and it’s to be expected.”  Well maybe for him but definitely not on my holodeck.  If I can choose to have the life that I want, guess what?  There would be no Turkey dinner at  Christmas and no bickering simply ‘just because.’  There’s truly a very fine line between Tradition and Bullshit.

I remember meeting someone before Christmas when I was shopping and said that we’d be going away after Christmas and that our goal was to eventually be gone to a cottage for Christmas and through the holidays.  I was told that I was an old poop for thinking that way.  However when you think of waking up Christmas morning and swimming in a salt water pool then slipping into a jacuzzi and then maybe playing a bit of shuffle board and pool and maybe ping-pong, clearly my holodeck is different than theirs and mine sounds like fun to me as well so does it for my husband and daughter.  I’m not an old poop by any means. 

Yesterday I spoke with a really great friend of mine and we chatted about Christmas.  I pondered over a thought when I got off the phone with her.

“If I no longer am the person that I used to be, clearly Christmas and Christmas Traditions may no longer hold the same meaning for me.   “Now here comes the REALLY BIG QUESTION.”

Why am I still engaging in things which no longer hold meaning for me?

I pondered over this for a while and a few things came up for me.  Yes, and one of them is…I don’t want to ‘hurt’ other people’s feelings.  So then Naomi cleverly asks me, “but what about you and your feelings?”  Very interesting and thanks for that.    I clearly had wondered about myself but certainly wouldn’t have come out and asked myself that question.    Oh yes, I have great friends on my holodeck for a reason. 

O.K.  Now I’m in a playful mood.    (Some of you will know what that means and others may have very strong opinions about it.  And…it’s all good because, “Your opinion is none of my business…” So enjoy your opinion and I’ll enjoy simply knowing that it has nothing to do with me.)

So lets review Hallmark Christmas cards or any other greeting card for that matter.  Ever read a card and think…”What a crock of shit?”  Better yet…you then receive it from someone that you just don’t really get a long with.    Now that’s really genuine…Not!  What just came up for me again is, “Why are these people still in my life?”

I used send out Christmas cards every year until Christmas 2006.  Something shifted.  I had just had taken part in a program with Louise LeBrun ( http://louiselebrun.com/) and noticed that by the end of the week my perspective on many things had changed and little did I know that as Christmas was fast approaching I didn’t feel any sense of obligation to send out Christmas cards.  My husband was somewhat baffled so he decided to send a few out.

This year (two years since my first program) I stand it such a different place than I did from even last year.  I suspect that with my own evolution continuing that my life and my views on things will continue to change.  When you know what you know and it’s something that you did not know before, how can you continue to only do what you’ve done in the past? 

There’s so much more that I’d like to write but for now I think I’ll just leave off here knowing that ‘there’s always more.  

Letting Go of The Past AND…Growing Forward

Amy

I received a message on my office phone yesterday.  My daughter was in tears and I couldn’t even understand the message, except that she asked that when I came home to come up to her room right away.  Without knowing what was going on, I could have made up all kinds or stories before I got there and I chose not to.  This is so important and I don’t think that I would have realized it until last night.  (past history would tell me that…her tears had to do with my husband and so I could have easily walked through the door in ‘attack’ mode).

I came through the doors and had a brief chat with my husband and proceeded up stairs.  I walked into her room and asked what was going on.  She looked at me with tears streaking her face and said, ” I need a hug.”  Well that’s too easy.  So we hugged.

As the tears came more and more and without knowing what they were about, I knew that there was nothing for me to say or do.  I only needed to breath and just ‘be.’  Not once did I tell her to stop crying.  Not once did I tell her that everything would be o.k.  Not once did I say a word.  When her body stabilized a little more, the conversation started.  More tears and all I did was reminded her to breath.  If children are what they learn, best to teach them that breathing is good right away and that tears are nothing more that the body’s way of sharing information that is coming up.  It is very important not to stop the flow of information

When she shared the details (content) of what happened, I could somehow listen and understand where she was coming from.  Why?  This experience seemed familiar to me.  As I listened how ‘friends’ make up stories and tell other friends and then the other friends make up more stories, there’s bound to be someone that is part of the story that doesn’t even know about the story and then is on the outside looking in.  (Wow…did you follow that)?    Frigg’in stories.

As I listened I heard her share her ‘own’ story.  I looked at her and said, “O.K. stop and breath and let the tears just happen and let me share something with you.”  It may be a good idea to ask others what they’re thinking rather than ‘make-up’ a story because this is how this all started.  Well then it went to the ‘he said -she said.’  Again I chose not to create space for more stories rather I suggested once again that being Open - Honest - Clear - Direct is the only way I know how to ‘be’ and when you stick with that…there’s simply no stories. (at least for yourSelf). 

In the “he said – she said” scheme of things, there’s only stories of other stories and then spin offs and many different version of a story and…it’s never about what it’s about.

My husband asked me what was going on and so…I shared my perspective of what had taken place.  And this is where the…put up- shut up- suck it up…came up.   Hmmm, Apparently if you just go in to school the next day and follow these simple steps (put up – shut up- suck it up) and don’t let the ‘bullies’ win, then they’ll have nothing to talk about so they’ll leave you alone.  And…Apparently life is just perfect after that.

Well…that’s his perspective and mine is not quite the same….And I believe it’s time we share something different with our children.

The conversations between my daughter and I went one and off through out the evening.  There was no need for pressure to have the conversation nonstop as her body was vibrating and information was in flow at different times.  I had nothing to do or say except to create space for her to share the “truth of her experience” as more information started to surface for her.  I listened and shared my thoughts and not once ‘told’ her how she should feel or what she should do.  She asked me last night if she could stay home from school so I allowed myself the space that I needed to ponder over the request.

At one point last night, I looked at her and said that I needed to step away to allow what she had shared with me to ’rumble’ around a bit.  I sat at the kitchen table and thought, “Am I mom or Am I Coach or Facilitator?”  Yes came to mind.  I smiled and continued to ponder and then I smiled and went up stairs and shared my thoughts with her.

Wow!  But of course!    The school is about early family systems and the dances that occur in our home lives we bring to school.  The dance was familiar because I experienced it in my family growing up.  That’s why at this point in my life I much prefer to be Open, Honest, Clear and direct because that can’t be flipped around or changed because it’s not a story rather it’s our truth.  So I suggested that if she wants to know someone else’s ‘truth,’ then ask them and not someone else.

(Today is Thursday and she is off to school).  I did create space for her to stay home yesterday.  It’s hard to remember who you are sometimes when your body is in the midst of information (emotions) constantly moving through out your body.  We chatted last night and today she is ‘ready’ to go to school.

What would life look like for our children if we offered them the space that they need when they need it?  What would it look like if we remembered that as ‘working’ adults, that we have sick days or ‘mental health’ day and that our children have school.  I think of one women that came to see me and said, “I don’t think that my son is even sick.  I think he just wanted to stay home to be with me.”  I smiled and said, “Great!  Then keep him home for the day and enjoy each others company.”  I’m not say to keep your children home all the time however if we listen to them differently we could very well discover that ‘their’ needs aren’t exactly what ‘we’ think they are.  Just because we were all children once ourselves, doesn’t mean we necessarily know what’s going through our children’s mind.  there’s only one way to know what’s going on in there beautiful heads and that is to ask them. 

As I reflect upon the past and the way I had brought up my daughter, I sometimes shutter as I remember that parenting is a choice and so is parenting differently.

What can we create for our children if we give them space to simply ‘be?’  What will they create for themselves knowing that they had space to ponder over the ‘turmoil’ that went through their body?

When I told my daughter that she didn’t have to go to school, through tears she said, “You’re the best.”  I hugged her and said, “So are you.”

Today is Friday and the last day of school for her until the New Year.  Yesterday was a great day for her at school and I don’t know if it would have been great for her if I had of looked at keeping her home from school as being ’silly.’

Our children are magnificent beings and I believe it’s time for a shift in Parenting. 

Letting Go of The Past AND…Growing Forward.

Amy

yesterday I engaged in absolutely wonderful and meaningful conversations with a group of women.  A casual gathering with a group of friends, ‘Ohana’ (Family of choice) holds more meaning for me that I could ever express in words. 

I simply had fun with the mere thought of…”The plan is ~ There’s no plan.”  I wasn’t alone in the room when it came to smiling as the words rolled off my tongue.  Each one of us a reflection of each other.  Each one of us truly magnificent just the way we are.  As the day progressed, there was a connection between two very wonderful women and the waves came for both as they shared in the truth of their own experience.  As I sit here writing about it, I have tears as my soul once again is fed by witnessing others evolution.

The Phoenix Rising.  Over and over again.  Starting brand new with the knowing in the body that we can never go back and live puny lives.  I am so blessed and there are absolutely no words.  No words.  I sit here and the tears fill my eyes and I can’t stop my fingers from going over the keys as the body revels in what I witness when I engage with women in conversations that have so much meaning.

I shake my head in utter amazement as I think of the conversation shared in the room.  Each of our experiences unique to us and yet awakening something within someone else to explore, digest and metabolize so that the information never gets viewed the same way.  The tears flow, the information continues to come up and then the body stabilizes and transformation has taken place.

Absolutely ‘Friggin’ Fantastic. 

(A deep breath is required as I reflect upon my day yesterday and my life in general).  Can my life be this incredible?  Can I have so many wonderful women in my life?  Am I deserving of all of this munificence?  Am I able to claim it for myself?  Yes!  Yes! and Yes. 

The tears continue to flow as I think of my life filled with absolutely fantastic women.  No stories, no past history.  Just women showing up in my life and being themselves.  There is simply nothing like it.  Oh…I’ve tried other stuff but there is absolutely nothing and I mean nothing that feeds my soul or accelerates my own personal evolution than to engage with women in meaningful conversations.  Sounds simple doesn’t it?  You wanna bet it is and it’s magnificent.

Two and a half years ago I met an absolutely wonderful woman and in a five minute conversation, I knew something within my had changed.  Something stirred my soul at a depth that I had never experienced.  Could honesty be that powerful.  (And the tears continue to flow as I think of Louise.  Only with her was I able to see or remember my own beauty.) 

Louise, thank-you from the bottom of my heart.  I truly love you.

I remember hearing this one time and thought it was great but didn’t have any reference for it and now thanks to Louise I do.

Once in your life-time  you meet someone and your life changes forever and you’ll never be able to look at your life the same way again. 

Louise LeBrun was the key for me to unlocking the person that I am today. And what I know now is that I am surrounded by so many wonderful women who contribute to my life everyday.

I believe that it takes but one woman to be the key to unlocking the genius of who we truly are.  One woman with nothing to offer except her willingness to stand tall in who she is in the world. 

Open ~ Honest ~ Clear ~ Direct

Love to all of my truly magnificent friends.  I love you all so very much.

Amy

I AM the Bold Vibration for Accelerated Change.  

                 Honest~ Open~ Clear ~ Direct

Just two years ago I stepped into a program room having no idea really what the program was about or how it would benefit me.  Every impulse in my body was saying, “Just Do It.”  And so I did.  Back then I would have never thought that by simply trusting that  ’gut’ feeling, that life would unfold in a meaningful way and now…I know of no other way to live.

Two year ago the program that I took was called, “Igniting the Self.”  Wow!!!  And that’s exactly what happened. 

It was as though the flame that once upon a time that had burned within me and aloud me to simply follow the impulses in my body had burned out (or rather I was assisted in putting it out).  The sad thing for me was to discover that it burned out a very long time ago when I was a child. 

We all know children are cute until they actually start voicing their thoughts.  Nothing more than an impulse happening inside their bodies that they bring through to the outside by using voice.  That’s unfortunately when the flame starts to slowing go out. 

We start to realize that it’s not o.k. to simply be ourselves, that there’s a better way of being and it’s definitely has nothing to do with following an impulse in the body.  Rather we’re taught the complete opposite.  When the impulse in the body says be honest and say what is there, we’re told that it’s not appropriate, it’s not nice, we shouldn’t hurt people’s feelings and the list goes on.  I guess, that’s when it isn’t fun being a child anymore – because we know that we’re incapable of knowing what’s ‘right’ or what’s ‘wrong.’  So luckily we have adults to show us and if we don’t get it right there’s always an opportunity to have it beaten into us or maybe a little ‘fear of the Lord’ to remind us…who to be, how to be, where to be, what to be etc…

AND THAT IS WHERE THE FLAME OF SELF SLOWLY BURNS OUT.

And here I am two years later having just delivered a program called, “Decloaking and Living Authentically.”

This is my opportunity to share with others that the spark of Self is still within our reach and that yes in fact…It’s o.k. being you and that you are enough.  Remembering who we are sometimes can be a challenge when for years we’ve been taught and reminded that our feelings of being incomplete and incompetent are justifiable.  We’re simply not enough the way that we are.  We need to learn and be exactly like everyone else so that we don’t rock their boats.  And yet when we do that, the flame slowly goes out and we end up with all kinds of health issues and because we’ve been taught so well since we were children to honor someone else’s thoughts/opinions of us, we continue to move through our lives in the same fashion as adults.  We look to the outside for answers that are happening on the inside of our body’s.

Decloaking and Living Authentically is a step towards reclaiming your spark and creating a long burning flame that transforms from within so that others too…see the brilliance of who you are which enables their flame to ignite and maybe…just maybe allow them to be themselves.

The transformation that took place in the program room did not come without pain, shame, guilt and tears.  Not that anyone in the room ‘deserved’ to feel that way but it was something taught to them at a young age.

Through conversations the mortar of the past slowly started to break down and break away.  It’s exciting to witness women (with tears flowing) when they discover how magnificent they truly are and they feel it within themselves.  And yet it’s somewhat sad to think that we keep the true genius of who we are as adults almost hidden away until we feel safe enough to bring our impulses (feelings) that we experience on the inside to the outside world to witness.  And then…miracles happen.

I’m truly blessed to be engaging with so many magnificent women and soon I’ll be engaging with men as well.  They too have been taught how to be and how not to be and yet, I’m clear that the majority of my programs will be for/with women.  (As I write I realize that it isn’t completely true.  I know that, “Life Unfolding” is about to become one of my dreams soon to become reality.  “Life Unfolding” is something that came into my awareness in the early spring of this past year.  It will be a series of events that will ‘unfold’ for women, women and their children and families.  How can transformations of families take place if I don’t create an opportunity for families to experience something different?

As for this past week being witness to women reclaiming their lives and the true genius of who they are, knowing that them simply ‘being’ is enough, there are no words.  To use words would only minimize the brilliance of what I experienced.  Seeing transformation…is simply incredible.  Being part of it and witnessing it, that is purely amazing.

Hats off to any woman who is ready to step up and out to reclaim the brilliance of who you are.

Letting Go of The Past AND…GROWING FOWARD.

Hugs to all for being Magnificent YOU,

Amy

“I AM…The Bold Vibration for Accelerated Change.”

See description of Decloaking…and Living Authentically, below. 

http://www.wel-systems.com/programs/WOverview.htm#Decloak

www.thepowerlieswithin.com