Growing Forward Personal Growth Services

I just went back and reread my parenting blog, which I just started about a week ago.  http://parenting4potential.wordpress.com/

I had pondered over the thought for a month or so and then something changed in my life and I realized at that point, there was a sense of urgency to change the way we look at parenting.  It’s time for a new perspective or our children will be repeating what we’ve repeated and has been repeated for generations.  Sounds like insanity of the finest kind.

Last week I had lots to process in my life.  My life is always about engaging from moment to moment, breath to breath.  Standing in what I’ve known and looking up to consider what else?  I could make up all kinds of stories about my experience and it simply wouldn’t matter because my experience is unique to me.  And as I write that, I want to share with you that I chose to stand in a place where I’ve never stood before.

A week  has passed since my daughter was given a letter that threatened her life.  The next day I witnessed the aftermath of a child who had been beaten.  The next day another experience.  Then the next day yet another experience.  None of which I would have  chosen to create in myself and yet here it was.

Holding in my arms, the very child that threatened my daughters life.  The child was in tears and was unable to breath.  Her mother in tears and moving through so much information.  Again I chose to hold her in my arms as well, so that she could calm her body and start a relaxed breathing.

I can hear myself saying, “This is not about pointing the finger or blaming anyone.  I’m not angered by what has happened.”  The look of disbelief on the little girls face.  The look of disbelief on the mothers face.  Could it be that she was expecting something else?  Of course.  And why not.  What took place was not to be taken lightly and I didn’t.  I simply chose to view it differently.

Standing in what I’ve always known and looking ahead, gives me an opportunity to change what has always been.  In doing so I also create a different experience for my daughter.  She is witness to my experience and something different moves through her for her experience.

How easy would it be to yell and scream, blame, point out what was wrong, how dare you do that to my child.  And in a breath, absolutely none of that was there for me.  Rather then let the intellect get involved and make up stories about what could be, I breathed and allowed my body to lead.  My body said, “This child needs to be held.  This child needs to know that someone cares.  This child needs to know that something else exists beyond what she knows.”

Her body relaxed and the sobbing slowed with her change of breathing.  As I chose to go outside and speak with the mother, my daughter encouraged the little girl to breath and exhale slow.  I spoke with the mother.  I chose again to hold the mother in my arms.  Mindful of what I was saying and knowing that this is what felt right in my body.  It’s not about blaming.  It’s not about pointing the finger.  It’s about something else.

If I hadn’t of allowed the body to lead, who knows what the intellect could have produced.  A different outcome to say the least.  And yet for me, the intellect is not my driving force, my body is always what leads.  Call it instinct, intuition, godforce whatever you like, but I can tell you that witnessing and experiencing what I did and my daughter did, there was no room for more anger and frustration to be directed at another human being.

When I spoke to the mother I asked, “What do our children do when they have anger and frustrations mounting up in their bodies? – They write nasty letters because they don’t know what else to do.”  “What do we do as parents when we have anger and frustrations mounting inside of us? – I hold monthly women gatherings, so that we can talk about those things in a small group and safe space.   A space without judgment or finger pointing.”

Yes, I chose to invite the woman whose daughter wrote a letter to mine.  I chose differently because I know that is what it takes to change an outcome.

At the end of the day, we’re all individuals moving through our lives the best way we know how.  Until be consider things differently, nothing will change.  When I wrote, “Consider the Yin and Yang” it’s about not seeing only what’s in front of you, it’s about looking beyond and seeing what else is there that you’re not seeing or considering.  The absence of the presence.  Seeing what isn’t there when something is present.  I was able to see beyond what was right in front of me.  I could also see that there was an opportunity to change not only my life, but someone else’ life.

Sometimes it’s not easy remembering that we’re all individuals moving through our worlds based on what we’ve been taught.  Last week I chose differently and created a different experience not only for myself, but for my daughter, another daughter and another mother.  I’m feel good with what I taught my daughter.  It’s about looking beyond and seeing what else could come from this experience.

I was in conversation with a group of women on Monday and one said that I was able to look for the positive in the experience (my words of course).  In that moment when she said that, I realized that I wasn’t looking for anything.  I wasn’t in the intellect therefore I was only following impulses in the body.  What felt right for me in each moment of each breath.  Not ‘thinking’ beyond the breath rather simply being in the moment and choosing only what felt right.

As I relax into who I am in this moment, I know that I am much more than what I was taught to believe I am.  I also know that because of the choices I made, I am much more than who I was last week.

In a breath, evolution and transformation takes place.

Moment to moment, breath to breath.

Consider the Yin and Yang

Amy

I remember in one of the programs that I Facilitated someone asking, “As you move forward, does anyone get left behind?”  My answer was (and without hesitation), “Most certainly not.  Not unless they choose to.”

This week I’d say has been one of my most ‘challenging’ weeks being me.  It started last Sunday at the women gathering that I held at my office and has continued through.  I have to be honest and say that I do hope that today is a more ‘relaxed’ day for me.

In conversation with someone yesterday day, so much kept popping for me about the ‘challenges’ of moving forward.  One came up for me very personally this week.

So in my view of the world, moving forward is simple and sometimes not easy.  You stand at a choice point of what has always been or is presently, you look to the future and decide for yourself, “Do I choose to repeat history or do I change it in a breath, by choosing differently?“  Of course, the choice is always yours.

When individuals come into my life, usually it’s because they have health issues or are looking at their life and wanting to make some changes and just not sure how to approach things.  I say Great!  Hats off to the individuals who are ready to step into their own lives and know that they don’t have to do it alone.  Just sometimes knowing that there’s support or encouragement as you go forward, is often enough for individuals to reclaim their lives.

And…sometimes there are individuals who simply ‘like the idea’ of changing their lives and take three steps forward and two steps back.  I’m totally fine with that because it is after-all, your life.  So I breath and remind them that I am a phone call or an email away and continue engaging with them for quite a while.  However, the span of time for me to constantly be there is starting to narrow.  If I choose to wait, I’m only slowing my own life down and those around me that are moving forward.

So, no one gets left behind unless they choose to and sometimes, we/I have to be willing to let go of others desire ‘not to move forward.’

It’s only agonizing when my intellect gets involved.  Yesterday I was very proud of myself.  I made a decision to ‘let go’ of someone that has been sitting on the fence for sometime.  I’m done.  There are individuals in my life who are moving through the past and the things is, ‘They’re moving through their stuff” and even though it is challenging for them, they’re doing it. I need to be there for those individuals.  And I’m clear, “I’m here for myself first and I won’t be waiting for you to get on with your life for too much longer.”  I cannot want for you, more than what you want for yourself.

I witness the Phoenix Rising over and over again with my clients.  It’s exciting and exhilarating.  Why would I choose to sit by and watch you slowly die when you can choose to live?  And…It Is Your Choice.  If you choose differently, know that I am here and will be supportive, encouraging and what you may need to get through it all.  If you’re looking for sympathy, you already have individuals around you for that.  If you want empathy, and are at a point of choosing to live, then I’m here.  Either way, it’s your choice.

Creating Space for others to Consider Life Differently

Amy

Today I awake to a new reality.  It hasn’t been an easy few days and I suspect that there is still more to unfold in my personal life.

I was witness to the aftermath of a child that had been physically harmed.  I look at the child and I realize, she is the younger version of the women that I meet with in my office.  The ones that are stuck in their lives and riddled with health issues.  The ones that keep the secrets to keep the myth of the intact family ‘intact.’  The ones still pretending and making up the stories that their families were good people.  I so understand wanting to believe the stories that we create.  Who wouldn’t we want to be loved and accepted for who they are?

I think of this young woman and I have hope for her that her life will change now.  That she doesn’t have to become one of the women who holds on to stories and ends up with health issues or worse.

Sunday at my women gathering I had said that I could sense that something huge was going to be happening this week.  I didn’t know what it was and I knew that it was going to be transformational.  Wow.  It has been.

When in our lives to we take the lead and not wait to be lead?  If I waited to be lead, a little girl may be in the hospital or worse.  Be the change that you want to see in the world.  Gandhi said it and it’s true.  When is it that we finally tire of the old stories and stop repeating history?  When do we look back on our past and simply say, “I’m Done.“  When do we look back and say, “That was then and this is now.  And… keep moving forward and looking a head instead of constantly looking back?”

If I ever needed proof that things have to change and I need to be the one to take the lead…In My Life, I now have the proof.  I saw what I saw.  I choose to take the lead and change my life and by doing so, others get their lives back.  If you’re so hell bound bent on ‘doing’ something for someone else, Then Reclaim Your Life and Get On With It. Take the lead in your life so that others can see the value of stepping up to the plate and moving forward.

If you notice the way our feet and heads are potioned on our bodies, best pay attention that they’re not pointing backwards.  We as human beings are meant to Evolve and that requires moving forward…not back.

Creating Space to Consider Life Differently

Taking the Lead,

Amy

And how many trips are you willing to take in hopes that your life will change?  Over the past couple of years it has become very clear to me that people are willing to do whatever it takes to get their life back.  Or are they?

I’ve heard people say, “We’re going away so that we can rekindle the flame that we once had.”  Or, “I’m taking a trip and going away alone to find myself.”

I find it quite interesting that we leave the space/location that we refer to as home, so that we can find who it is we truly are.  Or is it an opportunity to get away from your life for a few days hoping that while you’re away you may forget that the partner that you went away with or away from, is still the same person when you get back?  Oh yes, and let us not forget that you’re still the same person as well.

What we become frustrated about or the very things that annoy us, are this the very same things that have the same reaction in our body even after taking a trip away.  And yet we believe that a trip away will make things all better.

So how far are you willing to go? I’d say not far enough.

If you want to change your life, stop and ask yourself a few questions.

Are you willing to get honest with yourself?  (I mean really honest).

How willing are you to take a breath and say, “I’m done” and this time actually mean it.  And when I say that, I don’t mean the notion of being done.  I mean when you’re finally pushed back against the wall and you have had your fill.  I’m talking about the ‘being done in the body,’ done.

The sad part is that we’re willing to sacrifice not only ourselves, but our children as well.  “I’m waiting until the children grow up to leave him.  It will be too hard on them if I leave now.”  Hmmm, does anyone stop to consider how hard it is on the children staying in and being part of the unhappy marriage?

Recently I was watching a show and the little boy (about seven) had swallowed some marbles.  The parents rushed to the emergency with him and he ended up in the hospital for a few days under observation.  During his time in the hospital, the parents would ‘causally’ be arguing in front of him and saying things under their breath as though he wasn’t there.  They had both ‘promised’ him that once he was ready to go home and would promise not to swallow any more marbles, that they would give him anything that he wanted.  When it was time to leave the hospital and the doctors signed the release, he asked his parents if their deal that they made still was for real?  “Yes, of course.  You can have anything you want.” – “Good.  Get a divorce.  I’m tired of you two fighting all the time.”

Although this was a show, was it really?  I hear things from other parents and from children and I am amazed at how willing we are to just let things be the way they are.  Always waiting for someone else to make the first step.  Why can’t we take the first step ourselves?

We need to start by getting honest with ourselves and asking ourselves bigger questions.  Taking our time for the answer to come from our bodies instead of the intellect.  When you think of the relationship that you’re in, do you feel like crying?  Does your lip curl up?  Do you stop to consider the environment that your children are being brought up in?  If not…Maybe it’s time.

Creating Space for others to consider their life differently

Amy

This is one of the most exciting times of the year when people start Spring Cleaning.  Cleaning the house, getting rid of clutter in the house, getting rid of old clothes and lets not forget Body Cleansing.

While all of these things are great and rejuvenate you, the feeling usually doesn’t last.  I wonder when we stop and allow ourselves to spring clean our minds of past clutter that no longer serves us?  Why is it that we tend to hold onto that bit of scorn that we can call upon at will to allow ourselves to feel miserable?

All on the above Spring Cleaning list all have to do with doing something.  And yes, even body cleansing.  Most body cleansing requires supplements of some sort which means you’re putting something in your mouth in anticipation that there will be a certain outcome.  Hmmm!  Imagine letting go of the past and the many things that no longer serve you.  You may discover that you may even lose weight.  Yes, the burden that the past puts on you, not only weighs you down mentally but can actually manifest as weight gain.  Weight gain doesn’t happen in everyone of course but hey…imagine losing a few pounds letting going of past clutter?  Doesn’t it beat eliminating food and taking supplements?

If you’re going to take part in Spring Cleaning and the whole notion of…’Out with the Old and In With the New,’ why not consider what you already know you know and discover what you don’t know, you don’t know.  Doesn’t that sound like fun?  Well it does to me and because I’ve been willing to let go of my old way of thinking, I’m now standing in a different place and moving forward constantly in a direction of my choosing.

So this year instead of investing in new clothes, going to the gym, doing a body cleanse, why not look for a New Way of Looking at your Life.  The first week of May I’ll be facilitating a program called, “Decloaking and Living Authentically.”

http://www.wel-systems.com/poster/DecloakingAM.htm

This is an opportunity for you to get really serious about personal spring cleaning and an opportunity for you to consider your life differently.  It was at the end of the year in 2006 that I stepped into a similar program and my life has changed in an absolutely amazing way.

If you’re looking to be amazed by the outcome of Spring Cleaning, you very well may want to consider investing in yourself instead of things that only change ‘outside’ appearances.  Imagine waking up everyday and feeling like it was the first day of spring?  Imagine waking up giddy and smiling for absolutely no particular reason.  It can happen.  Create a platform for yourself where you can launch yourself into future and a life of your choosing.  Free yourself from past clutter and discover who you really are.  Maybe there’s more than just a new wardrobe that awaits you. 

Creating Space for Personal Transformation

Amy

It’s amazing how many people are voicing their opinions because it’s their freedom of speech.  Their right to do so.

Call it whatever you want.  Ranting, voicing, fighting for a cause and what I know is that it’s nothing more than a distraction that has been created by you yourself to keep you away from looking at your own life.  While you’re merrily engaging in the ‘fight’ for whatever cause, you can choose to ignore your own life and what is going on or isn’t going on in it.

I remember engaging with a magnificent women who was indeed (in her view) fighting for the rights of her child in the school.  The classes should have been smaller.  The clearly said that……and you can fill in the blank.  Unfortunately while she was engaging for ‘the cause’ her child who was quite happy with her school and class was possibly at risk of being ‘kicked out’ of a school that she loved.  Now if you’re fighting for your child because ‘injustice’ is being done, fine however if you’re fighting your own ‘unprocessed’ demons/information then pay attention to what the cause really is.

I remember suggesting that she let go of the fight.  She did consider what I had suggested and then did let go of one fight only to pursue yet another one.

Another woman tells me she’s so angry and frustrated with how things are going in her life and she is clearly annoyed how others are making her feel this way.  Why shouldn’t I blame other people when it’s clearly ‘their’ fault?

My question is when do you let go of the fight and maybe consider that everything that is happening or not happening for that matter is because of the choice that you have or haven’t made in your life?

Claiming responsibility for our lives sometimes really isn’t a pretty thing to do.  And I know because I had to.  We can always look at a good cause to fight for.  We can always shift the blame and never take on responsibility.  We can always look outside of ourselves and point our fingers at others but best we realize that the finger that we’re pointing is attached to ‘our’ bodies and we may be looking outside of ourselves because we don’t want to look ‘within’ for the answers.  I remember hearing long time ago that, “If you can ask the question, more than likely you have the answer.”

I used to so easily get ‘caught up’ in other peoples ‘miseries’ because I was quite happy to be caught up in my own.  Now things have changed and I know that whatever comes my way I have created for mySelf as nothing more than an opportunity to choose differently.  If I continue to choose the same thing constantly, then I’ll constantly end up with the same results.  How can me making choices be anyone else’s fault?

Life is simple and it isn’t always easy.  Sometimes I smile as others look at my life and say, ‘You’re so lucky with the way things have happened for you.’  I’m not lucky.  I have clearly made choices that have created what I’ve wanted in my life.  And…sometimes when I forget who I am I make choices based on the past and the outcome is less than admirable for me.  Then I take a deep breath, remember who I am and choose according to the impulse in my body.  What makes me smile and happy to be me.  Not ‘Gee I wonder what is going to frustrate and annoy me,’ and make a choice based on that.

If your life isn’t what you’re looking for, then choose differently.  I will not feel sorry for you or be your shoulder to cry on.  However I will remind you of Who You Are when you forget Who You Are.  I will never feel sad that you’ve made choices that weren’t right for you.  Who am I too tell you what to choose when I’m not you and have no idea what it is that you need to move through in your life.

As long as I remember who I AM in the world and honor the impulses in my body, I will be here for you… to Respect you, have Integrity and Generosity of spirit for you and never will I ‘pity’ you.  I know that everyone I meet is magnificent and is equally capable of having magnificence  in their lives.  As much as my life is wonderful and would love everyone to experience it for themselves, I cannot want for you more than what you want or are willing to create for yourself in your life. You need to reflect on your life and sometimes to create what you want, you need to Let Go of the Fight.  Whether that fight is with others or yourself, consider letting go.

Creating Space to Consider Your Life Differently

Amy