Growing Forward Personal Growth Services

It isn’t always pretty and doesn’t come with a bow.  Remember being younger and fantasizing about what life was going to be like when you grew up?  I know I did and I knew it was going to be different than what I was seeing with my own eyes.. and I knew that I was going to parent differently… and I knew how my life ‘wasn’t’ going to look.  And…I was right about all of it. 

Some of you may think that this sounds silly, but is it?  I discovered that life is indeed everything that I make it.  Yes the key word is, ‘I Make’ it.  I do indeed create my own reality based on the choices that I make.  Sometimes I delight over the out comes and sometimes….well…let’s just say that I don’t. 

What others see from the outside, isn’t exactly what we are experiencing on the inside of our homes or for that matter, within our bodies.  Our reality of what we’re experiencing on the inside, doesn’t remotely align with what we’re expressing as reality to the outside world.  We think we’re teaching our children to be honest when in reality we’re teaching them to lie.  We lie about our relationships, we lie about our children and we lie about life in general.  How do we know what is real and what isn’t anymore?  Life in many ways is nothing more than an illusion.  What we see and others see, is nothing more than what we’re allowing them to see and it isn’t  necessarily true.

When we’re at work, we act one way.  When we’re at home, we act another way.  When we’re with friends, we act yet another way.  Why are we looking for ‘best friends’?  Cause they’re the only ones who truly know us. Why?  Because there’s a good chance that they’re the only ones we don’t lie to…well…at least not completely.

We want our lives to be the pretty picture that we thought about when we were little.  You know, the way things are supposed to be.  Finish high school, go to university, get a ‘good’ job, get married, have kids, make everyone proud of us.  Hmmm, sounds depressive as I stop to consider myself and clients that I’ve spoken with.  We’re hell bound bent on living up to others expectations of who and what we should be and what we should be doing and even in what time frame.  This is insanity if you ask me and yet, I too bought into if for a period of time.

Unfortunately we’re killing ourselves trying to make things work and pretending that they are, when clearly they’re not.

Let’s get honest.  Although this is an expression, this  is the key to everything.  It wasn’t all that long ago that I wouldn’t have believed it to be so and yet now, this is my reality.

If we get honest with ourselves and only do the things that we really want to or have a sense of enjoying we’ll get to experience relationships, parenting and our lives (in general) much more fullfilling than we ever thought possible.

Instead of getting together with ‘friends’ and complaining about what isn’t working in your life, why not make a personal note to ’self’ and reconsider what you’ve been doing to create the results and consider what could you change to create something more meaningful and fun.

What else becomes possible for you in your life when you really get honest?  What will your life look like?  How will you parent?  Does your relationship flourish or do you discover that you’ve only been pretending and it was over long time ago?  You may discover that by getting honest and choosing only what is meaningful to you, creates a whole different reality than what you’ve ever experienced before.

Have a wonderful day considering….

What if? And the possibilities are Endless.

Amy

Last week I saw something which allowed me to remember that, Things aren’t always as they appear.

I noticed – what at first glance appeared to be a moth, trapped between two window panes and then at a  second glance it looked like a butterfly.  Hmmm, trapped between the inside pane and the outside one.  I watched for a couple of days looking all around the window looking to see if there was any possibility that it could get out to free itself.  I did notice a couple of spots where maybe it could get out but then again, a second glance made me realize that the poor thing would die because not only was it trapped, there was no oxygen between the panes.

I pondered over how often in our lives do things appear to be fine from the outside (our appearance) and yet on the inside, we’re dying because we can’t breathe?  How often are we trapped between what we know is our truth and someone elses?  Yet we try to keep up our appearances and wonder why no one is offering to help us when we’re trapped in our ‘pain.’  What if we chose to simply ask for what we need or want?

I believe that we’re all capable of doing many things on our own and for ourselves.  However I also believe that sometimes if we just opened our mouths and asked for what we wanted, that not only would others be happy to help us out but we’d discover that we’re not alone in our wants and needs.

Keeping things up for appearence sake can not only be exhausting, it can kill you.  Not necesarilly right away but keep in mind that if what you feel/sense on the inside of your body isn’t expressed to the outside world, it will manifest in the body as something.  Indigestion, acid reflux and I could make a list however if something is going on in your body – know that it’s about you and consider asking yourself, “What is it that I need for myself in this very moment?”  And here’s the thing, it’s not only about being honest with others it’s about being honest with yourself as well.  I think that was the toughest one for me.  I had no problem being honest with others, just myself.  Hmmm, ‘just’ myself.    That’s a big one.

I’m reminded again of the butterfly.  How beautiful it was, and it still died looking beautiful.

If we find ourselves in situations where we can’t breath, maybe we need take a moment as ask ourselves a simple and easy question.  “In this moment, what do I need in my life that would help me breath?  What could I do to create a different reality for myself if the one that I’m in is no longer working?”

I honestly wonder how often to we actually stop and consider our needs and wants?  If no one outside of you is asking you the question, who cares?  What’s not to say you do something new and fun?  Ask yourself.  There is no one’s opinion outside of me that matters more than mine.  Hmmmm, ego talking?  Nope, I know that I’m looking out for my best interest because I’m the only one ‘in’ here where I live. 

How often do we walk around ‘judging’ people by their outside appearences, without even considering that they may have something going on in their personal lives which is difficult?  How often do we ourselves paint on the happy face so that no one can see our pain?  What makes us or anyone esle any different?  Appearences are just that.  Appearences.

If you want to change your appearance, may I suggest that you consider checking in with your body to see what you really want or need instead of purchasing a new wardrobe?

Creating Space for you to consider your life differently.

Amy 

I was in conversation with a great friend of mine and I shared a thought with her.  When this ‘notion’ first came into my awareness I was intrigued by the mere thought of it.

What if the things that are lying right in front of us are actually distractions that we create?  Why would we do that?  Well, knowing that every response is an intelligent response – there must be great genius to it.

With that in mind, what if we never look beyond what is right in front of us?  What are we not noticing?  If we were to consider that everything that is right before our eyes is a distraction and is keep us from something more, wouldn’t we mindfully choose to consider what else there is?

If it’s never about what it’s about, wouldn’t it seem obvious that we’re creating a distraction?  Possibly for nothing more than to really stop and consider something different.

We’ve become ‘Masters of Excuses.’  Because we don’t look beyond the very thing in front of us, we can’t possibly see that we have other options.  The question is, do we realize it and out of fear (and or habit) choose to only look at what’s right there and nothing else?  That too of course is an intelligent response in that moment.

If you’re saying that your life isn’t everything that you’d like it to be, then that means  you’d be wise to stop and consider what else there may be. What else is there for you if you were to pause and look beyond what is in front of you?

We run, we rush, we don’t choose mindfully and then don’t understand why we’re looking forward to Friday.  What we don’t stop to think about is that Saturday and Sunday are no different than any other day of the week.  However we have this old limiting belief that we can’t choose for ourselves during the week so therefore, we simply don’t.

OH I can hear it now.  “When I’m at work, I don’t have a choice.  I have to do what I’m told or they’ll fire me.”  Well, you did choose to work there and if it isn’t really meaningful to you in any way, shape or form, pay attention to that and choose mindfully.  You may discover that there is something else for you that awaits your consideration.  You very well may have to pause, take a deep breath and look beyond the obvious for ‘what else?’

Yesterday I met with some women and I put something out to them, which really caused a ’stir.’  I could sense their agitation in their bodies and I loved it.  Yes, I love it.  I couldn’t tell them why I did what I did and had no idea what it was about.  Because for me, it’s never about the obvious ‘action,’ it’s about something else.

What I realized is with what I ‘put out there’ for their consideration, is causing some ‘turmoil’ in their bodies.  Because they have absolutely no past history for what I shared, they now stand in a different place and need to consider themselves first and foremost and consider what is it that is truly meaningful for them.

I marvel in how they’ve all approached it and I’m sure that they had ‘choice’ words for me.   Again, I simply smile.  Imagine ‘putting’ individuals in a position where they have to stop and really choose what is meaningful to them?  Hmmm, love it!  that is who I am and that is what I offer.

Creating Space for others to Consider their lives differently

Amy

aka ‘The Pot Stirrer’