Growing Forward Personal Growth Services

My life has been so different over the past couple of years and what made the difference was, Me.  Being willing to claim everything in my life as something of my own creation.  Why would I create such ‘turmoil’ or ‘confusion’ in my life?  I believe, to better understand who I am and who I have become.

I can’t say that life has always been a great joy for me.  I also have to reflect upon the choices that I made that got me to where I was.  In this breath, I now revel in the choices that I have made to bring me to where I am now.  In each and every moment, the choice is mine.  Do I sit her sharing the truth of my experience, or do I keep it to myself in fear of what others may think of me?

I’m all grown up now, so I care less about what others think of me and care more about how I feel about myself.  If I’m making choices that make me feel good on the inside, then in a breath – I exhale that very expression of who I am out into the universe where others can experience it as well.

There is nothing bad that happens to me anymore.  There is nothing good that happens to me either.  Absolutely everything that unfolds in my life is about gaining experience so that I can become more in my own life.  As I inhale new information or experiences, I create the space to allow and welcome them to integrate into the very being that I am.  As I exhale, I breath out the new expression of who I am.

There is truly nothing in my life that I’m not willing to share with others.  In my life, I choose to consider everything as moving through an experience.  As I move through it and gain clarity, why wouldn’t I want to share it with another?  I believe that life isn’t suppose to be difficult.  Well what if I have some information that will  make it possible for you to move through your experience effortlessly?  Isn’t it nice to know, that in my view of the world it’s about sharing the truth of my experience.

As I stand tall in this moment knowing that I am no longer that person that I was,  I can reflect back and beat myself up for what was or I can realize that I only made choices based on limiting knowledge.  Now I know something different.  Without the my past experiences, I wouldn’t be where I am now.

I wasn’t always wanting to claim everything in my past as something which I created based on my choices.  However, that was then and this is now. I now stand in a different place and claim everything and I mean ‘everything,’ as something of my own creation.  Since I know for myself that I have created it, I may want to consider why I created it and what’s there for me to learn?

I have given up ‘thinking,’ and now I create space to consider what else is possible in my life?  Thinking is over rated.  I suggest you allow yourSelf to ‘Consider’ what else is possible for you in your life should you be willing to, ‘Claim it all.’

Allowing myself to consider…What else is possible for me?

Amy

While chatting with a friend this morning, we discovered something together.  I was sharing how it always seems that I attract people (including my family) that feel the need to be forth coming with their thoughts.

I said something without thinking or considering what it meant and it was beautiful.  I Am the safe space for others to share their truth without fear of judgment. I paused and so did my friend.  Wow, I AM the Safe Space for others to Share their truth without fear of judgment.

With all the things that have unfolded in my life lately, I never considered why I seem to be the person for whom people just open up and share their truth no matter what.  It’s as though they know that I will not only hear their words, but I will hear them differently.  I cannot judge another human being.  There is true brilliance in the way that life unfolds and I can see it and I can hear it.

Why can’t I see what sometimes others see?  Because I look beyond what is presented and am able to see the genius of the experience in the moment.  It doesn’t necessarily mean that I know what it’s all about, it simply means that I know that there’s more and it’s never about what it’s about.

When I shared with my daughter that I could see many changes in the way that my husband moves through his world, she couldn’t see it.  When I shared with my husband that our daughter has been changing, he can’t see it.  They’re both seemingly seeing only what is right in front of them.  A friend that I saw on the weekend said that I have a gift.  I have the gift of clearly seeing beyond what is in front of me.  I always consider, What Else?

Sometimes what I ’see’ doesn’t always seem like a gift to me.  When it comes to my family and they can’t see (or won’t see) beyond what’s in front of them, I feel frustrated.  The nice thing is that I can feel frustrated and in the frustration, I know that I stand tall in who I am in the world and I am not alone.

In many ways I believe that I become the invitation for others to truly consider their lives differently and wonder what else is possible in their lives.  I AM the Safe Space where others can share the truth of their experience and not fear judgment.

My life isn’t perfect.  My way of parenting, isn’t perfect.  I’m clearly, not perfect and yet I know that I’m magnificent in many ways.  I know that to be my truth.    Because I am able to see beyond my warts and imperfections, I’m able to see beyond yours.  What lies beyond or beneath the warts and imperfections, is pure genius.  There’s room to grow and discover what else and what more is possible  if you just take a breath and consider what are the things which hold meaning for you.

It has been such an incredible week already and I still ponder what else is possible as the day continues.  I don’t really care if it’s sunny.  I don’t particularly care if it’s raining.  I have nothing to do, but ‘Be.’  In a state of ‘being,’ there is nothing left for me but trusting and knowing, that life always unfolds exactly how it should.  In a state of ‘being,’ I know that there is great genius in everthing.  In a state of ‘being,’ I live moment to moment – breath to breath and know that anything is possible.

Seeing the genius of – Living in the moment,

Amy

There are times in my life when I realize that slipping into default and living my life in automatic (or mindlessly), is quite appealing.  How easy would it be for me in this moment to go back to pretending and living my life as a complete and total illusion of what I know life can be for me.  Unfortunately, and I do mean unfortunately – that is not an option for me.

I’ve spent my morning walking around in a state of confusion.  Even now as I write there are tears in my eyes.  Nothing more than information moving in my body and in this moment…the tears have something attached to it that others would label as pain or sadness.

As I got into my car this morning I let out a cry of what I would associate with anguish.  “Go back to pretending.  Go back to pretending.  It’s easier.  It’s so much easier.”  Again, in this moment – I wish it were an option for me.  However to let go of the person that I’ve become is something that I cannot do.  What’s funny about all of this is the fact that I didn’t think that I remembered who I am or who I have become but that isn’t true either.

I know that as I sit here writing with tears flowing, that this is indeed life and it’s living it fully.  Oh, who ever said that living your life fully was a piece of cake and always fun? 

Living life is a choice.  Living in a coma and just surface gliding is a choice as well.  Some people (and I’m one of them), also call it coma.  A different version of sleep walking.  Living life in an automated way based on habituated responses because of not being aware that something else exists.  I did surface gliding for quite a few years and now – well it simply doesn’t appeal to me anymore.  This on the other hand doesn’t feel that appealing either however I can sit in my state of confusion knowing that this is a brilliant opportunity for me to discover more about myself and the more that I can become.  Clearly, there are times in my life that I don’t always have the answers for myself.  (Well, I may have them and there’s a good chance that I’m not ready to look at them yet). 

I love my life and sometimes it really isn’t easy and other times it’s quite simple.  My life isn’t static by any means.  Ebb and flow, peaks and valleys – Call it whatever you want but I know that the genius of it, is that I’ve created it all.

So with everything going on in my life I am quite clear that living a life in coma is not an option for me at all.  There is growth in chaos and uncertainty.  I believe that I create it to keep experiencing something new and as I gain the experience in my body, I get to choose differently and I get to share it with others.

There’s always more and it truly never ends.

Live life and feel the pain or live in a coma and get on a plain.  The pain may be what you need to experience in order to stop the insanity of habituated response (repeating history).  The plain may be a temporary fix and know that the ‘pain’ awaits your arrival.

Living life is about moving through it not walking around it.  If you choose a different path which takes you further away from what is in front of you, know that your destination that you seek  is moving further away from you as well.

I sit here wondering if I’ve made any sense with what I just wrote.    I’m going to say yes and trust that I wouldn’t have taken time to write and share that I too experience confusion/chaos no different than anyone else.

Time for me to relax into myself and ponder, what is this all about.  I’m not necessarily looking for an answer and yet the space and time to ponder what this is for me is needed in this moment.

Knowing that there’s genius in the confusion and chaos,

Amy