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This morning when I woke up it was clear to me that I needed to watch the sun rise.  I’ve seen plenty of sunrises before however I have never fully been present to them as I was this morning.  I wonder how many things in my life have I experienced and yet haven’t fully experienced?

I liken the sunrise to a blank canvas that is starting to have colour added to it.  At first the canvas has very little colour or definition.  However as more colour is added it becomes clear that the outline was always there, you just couldn’t see it before.  And this…I liken to our lives.

In our search for more, do we actually allow ourselves to fully experience our current lives?  Do we acknowledge what is right here right now?  Or have we already started our search making the assumption that the more is out there as opposed to being right here?

Maybe it’s time to stop the search out there so be can marvel about the genius and magnificence that is ‘in here’ where we live.

Clarity Queen

Not all that long ago I used to dream of going to New York City.  The Big Apple has been something that I’ve always wanted to experience.  If I had listened only to what others would say about the City, I would have allowed my desire to be squashed.

“It’s dangerous, people get mugged, people are rude there, if you go keep your head down and keep to yourself.”

Whatever it is you believe, you’re right.  Luckily for me all the beliefs I wrote above have to do with others and are not mine at all.  I see the world through different eyes.  A world of endless possibilities is what I see.  Because I have this belief, I create those experiences for myself.  Yesterday was one of those days.

Having never taken a train in my life, I left Stamford train station and headed off to Grand Central Station.  Was I nervous?  Maybe a little bit, yet the excitement that was pulsing through my veins was much more powerful than fear.  In fact, fear was a mute point when I think about it.

I met an incredible woman on the train headed for NYC.  We had a great conversation and it felt like we were old friends. She accompanied me as we got off the train to make sure my experience was effortless and wasn’t alone.  I had a friend by my side.  As we neared the entrance of the Station, she pointed out that my friends were calling me.

My dear friend Jodi was there to meet me along with my new friend, Loren.

As we stepped into Grand Central Station, my eyes filled with tears.  It is so magnificent that I could barely catch my breath.  The grandeur of what I was witnessing was absolutely beyond any words and so tears were how I expressed what I felt.

Until yesterday 5^th Avenue, 42^nd street and Broadway were what I had seen in movies and heard in songs and today they are part of an experience.

Rockefeller Center is absolutely incredible.  The sculptures and other artwork, outside skating rink (in October), the fountains and the list can go on and I didn’t even step inside yet.  The feeling of endless possibilities is what I experience on a larger scale in NYC.

Time Square, well what can I say?  Everything is Big and Bright.  There is movement and flow on such a large level.  You can’t help but smile when you’re standing in the midst of it all.  The metaphor for living large surrounded me and I couldn’t ignore it.

Bright eyed and child like I walked through the streets of New York City, I embraced the experiences and allowed for its welcoming hug.  It tickled my senses and stimulated my very being.  Ah yes a world of endless possibilities is not only what I believe, it’s simply my truth and the way I choose to live.  What do you believe?

Live large and remember, “Whatever you believe, you can achieve.”

Today was a quieter day and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  Because I slept so well last night after my late afternoon of pure deliberate indulgence, I slept in till 8 and opted not to do anything till later in the afternoon.

I actually made a cup of tea and sat out on the balcony with my new book.  It was relaxing and because I have been choosing to engage everything, the thought of a quiet morning felt good.

This afternoon I went to Aventura Mall.  It was time for me to look for something special for my daughter.  I was really clear that I wanted something that was made in Miami and not China.  (Stuff like that I can get anywhere).

I didn’t really have anything specific in mind which to me left it up to my imagination.  As long as I could find something that felt right to me I was open to just about anything.  You see, I could have gotten something quick somewhere but that didn’t seem very authentic to me.  So today I was going to allow myself to explore this huge mall.  Surely I could find something in there.

As big as this mall was, nothing jumped out at me so I headed back to catch the shuttle.  On the way back to the hotel I was saying to Hamid (the shuttle bus driver) how I was looking for something for my daughter that was made in Miami.  He chuckled and shared a personal story with me and we both laughed.  A few seconds later he says, “You need to go to Wings.”  Wings is full of all kinds of beach apparel and all kinds of stuff made here in Miami.  He said that it was just across from the hotel on the other side of the road.

When we got closer to the hotel I announced that when he dropped us off  that I would make my way back to Wings.  Once again his kindness shone through.  He let everyone else off and then he drove me back to Wings since he was going to be heading that way anyway.  Nonetheless, he didn’t have to take me at all.

Well I was quite excited because I found some fantastic t-shirts  and met some amazing people again and…I got a free reusable bag that says,     “Wings.” 

As I was walking back to the hotel which seemed a long way away, I noticed a spot that I could sit and have a lovely ‘home-made’ ham & Swiss cheese croissant that I purchased at that the mall.  I sat by a lovely fountain and looked at all the magnificent buildings in-front of me.  I could hear some birds chirping near by and as I looked up, I saw the most beautiful green colored birds fly across to the palm trees.  I’ve never seen anything like it.  Now if I hadn’t of gone to the mall, purchased the croissant, went to wings and then opted to sit down by a fountain, I would have never seen those birds.

By engaging in things that I normally wouldn’t engage in, things are unfolding in an amazing way.

After my supper by the fountain, I walked back to the first place that I went to on my first day here.  CVS Pharmacy.    Is there anything that you can’t get at a pharmacy besides furniture? 

I purchased some earrings for my daughter and they’re locally made right here in Miami.  They’re quite lovely and I’m quite excited about them.

Although my day was quieter than it has been, it was still a wonderful and exciting day.

I walked for 4 hours non-stop which I haven’t done in a very long time, in fact I don’t know if I’ve ever walked that long.  The fact that it was about 100 degrees today, oddly enough didn’t bother me.

I feel light hearted and know that already my life has changed and we haven’t even all got together for the Mindset Retreat.  Who knows what amazing things I’ll discover about myself over the next few days.

Hmmm,”‘Only she who engages the absurd, can manifest the outrageous.”  Yep!  Sounds like me.

Hugs to all,

Amy

(I started writing this last night and was so relaxed after my afternoon of indulgence that I laid down on the bed and fell asleep just after 8:pm) 

(Friday’s post)

To start off with I must say that I had a great sleep.  I woke up early headed out on the balcony almost immediately to see if the ocean was still turquoise.  Well… because it was so early it was hard to tell nonetheless my gut instinct said it was still magnificent. 

Shortly after I got up I posted my blog.  I wanted to write while everything was still fresh and the excitement was still pulsing through my veins.

Tonight as I sit here I realize that the past 24 hours have been so fantastic that it is less than likely to become a thing of the past so quickly.  However, after the day that I had today I have to say it was another pretty amazing day of stepping out of my so called comfort zone.  (Hmmm, comfort zones.  That will be another blog for another day however this one is clearly about mind set.

I decided pretty early that I would get on my bathing suit and head to the beach since I hadn’t been yet.  If it looks that glorious from a distance than it has to be pretty amazing to boot.

Now I’m no barbie and I have to say that I was walking around my hotel room doing everything possible to delay going to the beach.  The self image thing was playing loud and clear for me.  Although I know that I’m more than what people see from the outside, my intellect was alive and well.  Now the good news is that the inside of who I am was ‘awake, live and well’ also.  So I finally put my sunscreen on, let it soak in for 15 minutes and then put on my bathing suite and cover up and headed down to the beach.

I tell you that I needed to muster up a lot of courage to go out there and lay beside ‘thonged’ tanned women.  Me…I showed up in a one peice and fish belly white skin and…the main thing is…I Showed Up.

While the young man was setting up my lounge chair, I scooted down to the water right away.  I just needed to know how warm it was.  Well, it was very very warm much like a warm bath.  I was on a mission to play and explore so my next thing to do was to lay in the sun (under an umbrella of course).  I made sure that my face was out of the sun but I did want to get at least a little colour on my arms and legs.

I laid there and took some pictures, closed my eyes and relaxed a bit.  I tell you I couldn’t keep them closed for too long.  I wanted to keep them open and see all I could see.

As I observed the coming and goings of people, I realized that I didn’t feel so conscious about my body anymore.  So once again I mustered up my courage and took off my cover up and exposed my body to the world.  Hmmm, no one ran screaming so I guess I fit in. 

After laying in the sun for about an hour, I decided to go back in the ocean and this time, all the way in.  I  have to say that the 80 degree water felt cooling.  In no time at all I was up to my neck and enjoying every minute of the water.  I looked at the magnificent buildings from the water and was amazed to see them tower so close to the water.  Amazing.  I decided that the beach scene wasn’t for me.  Too hot to say the least.  It must have been about 95 degrees or higher by time I came in.

When I got back to my room I changed and then pondered, “now what shall I experience?”

(side bar) The reason why I arrived a few days before the retreat is based on one of my past experiences.  I move through an experience, I learn from it and get to choose differently should the opportunity present itself again.

In 2008 I was in Hawaii for a program.  Although we started later in the morning and finished earlier in the day, my heart longed to be outside playing and exploring however it really wasn’t an option seeing how I didn’t allow for enough time.  So I learned from that experience and in April this year when I was presented with an opportunity to be in a program in California, I planned for a week away even though I only needed to be there for 3 days.  This time I need to be here for about three and a half days and I’m still here for a week.  How do I get to experience new things if I don’t allow for enough time to play.  How do I live an abundant life with minimalistic thinking?  Simple.  I can’t.

(now back to yesterday’s discoveries)

I had been eying this spa package called, ‘Deliberate Indulgence.’  Well needless to say the name had already peaked my curiosity.  It was a 4 hour session and I kept asking myself, ‘can I actually allow myself to be pampered for that long?’  It may sound funny to some of you however this is a really new concept for me.  Hmmm…Deliberate Indulgence.  Wait a minute, that’s what I’ve been doing since I arrived.  Deliberately choosing to engage things that I had never experienced before.  There was only one thing to do…Call and see if I could get myself booked in.  It was a little after 2:pm and the spa closes at 7 so there was a good chance that it would be too short notice to get in.

When I called down, Alina answered the phone.  She seemed so excited that I was interested in the Deliberate Indulgence package.  While we were speaking, there was some kind of interference on the line so she opted to call me back.  Sure enough when she called back, there was still something going on with the phone.  Long story short, she looked into it and when I came back to my room at the end of the night, I had a new phone.O.K. back on track. 

Welcome to my holodeck where all my dreams come true.    Ahhh yess….I went down at 2:40 to start off with a steam sauna before starting my experience.  When I walked in Alina asked me, “Are you the special Lady?”  I smiled and said, “I am.”  Four hours of pampering tells a person that you must be special and…indeed I AM.

I met three of the most amazing women who pampered me for the next few hours.  Janiene started me off with a Champagne Bath followed by a Turkish Salt Scrub, then a cuvee of grape seed oil massage, followed by a caviar facial (which is to die for) and then, I enjoyed a glass of champagne and fresh fruit.  Oh yes, can’t forget that I had a scalp massage as well.  Janiene did all of it except the massage which Lorraine did and was such an amazing experience.

I came back to my room a little after 7:pm.  I sat down and attempted to blog however I could barely keep my eyes open.  So I was in bed a little after 8:pm and didn’t wake up until a little before 8 this morning.

So I tell you now that I am changing my mindset because of the experiences that I’m allowing myself to have.  If I don’t experience all of these amazing things, how will I know what I want more of in my life?  How good am I willing to have it?  Am I willing to be seen for who I am?  It took great courage for me to be seen in my bathing suit because of the ‘old’ mindset that I had.  Now that no longer exists for me.  So being visible to everyone is going to be easier for me than it has been in the past.  I’ve been creating some pretty amazing things that people don’t even know about yet.  Why?  Cause maybe up until now I haven’t been ready to be ’seen’ for who I am.  With all my warts and imperfections…this is who I am.

Huge hugs to all and I’ll be sharing how today has unfolded later on tonight…or maybe tomorrow morning.  Hmmm, make that tonight. 

Amy

I awake Friday morning in Miami.  As I start to consider what my day may look like, a sense of excitement pulses through my veins.  I am after-all at the Trump International on Sunny Miami Beach. 

I keep going outside on the balcony and looking at the spectacular turquoise ocean.  Yep…it’s still turquoise even after checking it a dozen times or more. 

It’s quite an amazing view from the 18th floor.  Me, who used to be afraid of heights.  Of course that was before I knew I could fly.  By the way, I’m only on the 18th floor because I chose to ask for what I wanted.  When I was checking in I was quite excited about the thought of waking up to the beautiful ocean so I was clear on my intention.  When I asked if I had a view of the ocean, I was told that I had a room with a view of the bay.  Now I’m quite sure that the view of the bay is great however I wanted the ocean view.

Rita said, “Let me see what I can do.”  I smiled with anticipation.  Was I going to get what I wanted simply because I asked?  Could it be that simple?  Sure enough I ended up with a choice of 3 suites.  I chose the 18th floor and had no idea why the 18th seeing as I’ve always seemed to have an issue with heights.  (Well needless to say that old belief has shifted).  So from having a standard room I am now in spectacular suite with lots of room.  Pretty cool if you ask me.

Because I am here for a mindset retreat, I’m creating the space for myself to engage all the bells and whistles.  Some of you may find this funny however I’m going to share all of it with you because I may very well be a reflection of one of you reading this.

When my shuttle pulled into the hotel, someone offered me their hand to help me step down out of the van.  At first (because I hadn’t allowed for the shift to happen yet), I said” no I’m o.k., I can get down on my own.”  “Oh I’m sure you can but it’s quite high so allow me to assist you.”  I smiled and thought to myself, “This is the beginning of shift in mindset.”  I then proceeded to take his hand and it was quite reassuring.  Then…my bags were whisked away right in front of me.  I turned my head and said, “I can take those myself.”  “Oh I’m sure you could however why not let me take them so you can simply relax and start to enjoy your stay right away?”  “What?….Was Fabienne paying these guys?”    I know she isn’t however I know that she also mindfully chose where she was going to be hosting this incredible retreat.

Usually when I stay in a hotel, I never take advantage of the services that they have to offer…up until now that is.    In fact, I’d almost say that I’m a bit of a hermit when I go away.  I do understand the whole thought of having space and time to myself however I am now ‘growing’ past that and am now ready to engage differently than I have in the past.

Yesterday I took the Admiral Shuttle from the hotel to one of the malls.  Because I am who I am, I started having a conversation with the driver.  What was interesting was just as we were approaching my stop for the shops, he said to me “I’ve heard a few people say that there isn’t a lot to see in this mall.  If I see you sitting here at 1:30 I’ll turn around and pick you back up otherwise you’ll have to stay here till 3:pm.”  I smiled and thanked him seeing that he didn’t have to do that at all.  The shuttle service clearly states that I wouldn’t be picked up till 3.

At 1:pm I made my way back to the shuttle stop and waited for my ride.  He was right.  So I sat and started to read the book that I purchased at an incredible book store at the Bal Harbour Shops.  It was such an incredible space that I easily lots myself in the whole experience for a full hour before choosing a book that called to me.

All these experiences were new for me.  Asking Rita for the view that I wanted, having Anjelo bring my luggage up and fill me in on all the services that the hotel has to offer, allowing for an excursion to the shops and before I forget, Ricile who graciously straightened up my room for me and chatted for a couple of minutes to welcome me and further share about the services and what Miami is like.

All of these incredible people are in the hospitality services because (from what I sensed) they love helping and working with people.  Who am I to not let them do what they are passionate about?  They are all kind and warm hearted people and if I hadn’t of chosen to engage with each of them, I would have never known that.  So in fact, I would be doing not only a dis-service to myself but them as well.  Because I chose to engage differently this time, my world has opened up.

Oh yes…before I forget.  I’ve walked more in the past 24 hours than I’ve walked in months.  I’ve dared to go and explore the surrounding area and today I plan on dipping my toes in the beautiful turquoise ocean.

I’ll keep you posted on my Self discoveries later on.

Amy

I recently read a book written by a mother whose daughter was murdered at the Columbine High School.  Part of the book involved her interviewing young people her daughter’s age.  One comment from one of the young women leapt off the page.

“Sometimes I feel like my parents care more about what other people think of how I’m being, instead of really getting to know me.”

As I read the words, I noticed that I was holding my breath.  In fact, even as I write them now I hold my breath.

Could it be that we worry more about what other people think of our children?  How much time is spent wasted on things which we have absolutely no control over?  I totally get it however because ‘we know that how our children act is a direct reflection of how they’re being parented.’

I used to believe this and still do to a certain extent.  I know that the way I parent is different than how I used to parent.  I also know that some people have lots of opinions about it.  Even my husband has thoughts on how I parent our daughter.  Two different parents, two different individuals and absolutely two different ways of parenting.

I believe I create more space for her to be open with her thoughts.  Of course I don’t smile about everything that comes out of her mouth, however I don’t scold or punish her I simply ask that she becomes mindful of her choice of words.  I’d feel like a hypocrite if I scolded her when sometimes those same words slip through my lips.  I have people around me who don’t approve of how ‘lax’ I am when it comes to raising my daughter.  I get the smile, raised eyebrow and the look followed by, “It’s different when you’re an adult.”  My response?  “Really.  How so?”

I choose not to play the ‘almighty saint’ in the presence of my daughter because it simply isn’t who I am.  I’d rather show up and be who I am in every breath rather than try and remember how I’m suppose to act in different circumstances.  Remember the saying?  “Tell the truth and then you don’t have to remember what you said.” How about we shift that a little?  “Show up in your life and be who you are in every breath and then it won’t matter who you’re speaking with.”

A woman I know has a business called, “Winning through pageantry.”  As I ponder the thought of what the words mean to me, I smile.  I’m also very aware that Rhonda works differently with these young women and parents so that they don’t lose sight of who they are in the process.

Is our life any different than Pageantry?  As we grow we learn.  Needless to say what we learn is how to speak and act in different circumstances depending on who is around.  Without being conscious of what we’re doing, we calibrate and ‘act’ appropriately to whatever present.  We’ve learned well through the years how to put on a command performance however have we not noticed as adults that we’re still playing the part of an actor in our own lives instead of simply showing up as who we are?

I want to teach my daughter how to show up and be who she is in every breath and the only way that I can do that is by showing up in my own life and being authentic.  There is no doubt in my mind that as the school year approaches that she will ‘mindfully’ calibrate how to ‘be’ in each circumstance that presents with each teacher.  The difference is if she’s mindful of her choices, then she doesn’t have to lose herself in playing the role of who others want her to be.

Can we as parents get to know our children for who they are rather than point out who they aren’t?  Can we love them where they are instead of pointing out why we think they should be somewhere else?  Can we love them for who they are and simply offer guidance and let them discover life on their own?

Parenting can be rewarding and frustrating all in the same breath.  What I’ll share with you that I’ve learned from my own life is that the only time I find it frustrating are the times when ‘I think’ my daughter should have chosen differently.  She is not me in any way, shape or form.  She is her own person and that is what I’ve been teaching and modelling to her over the past few years.  She gets to choose what feels right for her the same way that I do.

Let’s get to know our children differently and for who they are.  Meet them where they are instead of telling them that where we are is so much better.  Maybe it is better (for us) however consider meeting them where they are and showing them ‘what else’ is possible so that they can choose differently the next time.

Clarity Queen

Guide to your inner truth

Yesterday I took a trip to the meadow.  It’s the future site for

“The Meadow~Learning Center for Women.”

It has been less than a year since I invested in this incredible property.  During this time, I have never been there when I didn’t have this incredible sense of awe.  I liken myself to a small child exploring for the first time.  Each and every time I marvel in the beauty and magnificence that the meadow holds.  It is a sacred space where no matter what state you may have been in, in a simple breath you become connected to your inner truth.

You are not only surrounded by peace and tranquility, you drink it in with every breath.  There is a sense of wonderment as you walk in the meadow.  What some may call weeds, I look at as the beautiful flowers that nature has provided effortlessly.  My meadow.  ‘She’ is magnificent beyond words.  Always welcoming and receiving of all who come alone or join me for a walk in the midst of her beauty.

I have witnessed the bald eagle soaring above her.  The pheasants as they call out to say hello.  The lovely chickadees for whom I have a special place in my heart.  The squirrel, robins, butterflies, dragonflies and everything that you can imagine including dear and rabbits are amongst some of the incredible creatures found in the meadow.  Different trees, wild rose bushes and what some may call weeds are all so breath taking to me.

I find a sense of calm within myself as I walk in the meadow.  I had arrived and had felt great and yet as I walked down the path and further into the meadow, something shifted.  I became even more connected to the signal that I am in the world.  It’s as though I become one with the meadow when I’m there.  It’s a beautiful experience and one which I don’t believe will be unique to me.  This is an experience meant to be shared with many.

With every breath I am filled with a deeper knowing that this will be a space for women where transformation and evolution will occur.    I think of the many women who will come to share their unique passion with others and it fills me up.  To have an opportunity to share my truth and for you to share yours and for so many others to do the same, I can only imagine what kind of vibration the meadow will have.

I am elated by the thought of possibilities and potential that is only but a few breaths away.

With a sense of admiration for all the women in my life and for all that holds meaning for me, I AM more.

Amy

I can remember the days when I used to hate flying.  I’d say up until about 3 years ago, I probably flew about 3 times in my life.  My have things changed.

The past couple of months have been busy for me and I’m absolutely loving it.  4 trips in 2 months and I AM Elated.  I’m often asked if I’m traveling for business or pleasure.  The answer is always the same and it’s always yes.  My life is my business and it’s always a pleasure.

My life is always about playing and exploring what else is possible for me in my life.  So as I venture forth into the unknown, I share my discoveries with other women.  Sometimes I hear, “wow…I could never do that.”

Well, don’t be so sure.    I am in the business of sharing with women how to create a life of your choosing.  A life that says if that’s what you want then why not create it?  It’s simple and it’s effortless.  O.K.  I said it’s simple and effortless however it’s not always easy.  The bottom line is the good, the bad and the ugly is all of our creation so really…’It’s all good.’  Life is simple when you recognize that it’s a learning experience and sometimes the experience is right there in plain view and sometimes it takes a couple of breaths before you recognize it however the learning experience is always there.  Remembering to breathe of course is of the utmost importance.

So obviously I’m not a bird however since I’m not, I do know that there are many ways to get from point A to B.  Whether it’s traveling or my life, I like to take the direct approach.  I even consider my flights and who I’ll choose to fly with.  I am not dedicated to Air Canada, Westjet, United or any other airlines for that matter, I am however committed to me and my personal evolution.  Price is another thing that doesn’t dictate what I choose, which would have been a motivational factor before along with the airlines.

If I can get a cheaper flight  and I’ll save $75 and it will take me 2 hours longer to get there, you wanna bet I’ll be investing that $75 to get me to my destination quicker.  My life and time is valuable and it’s not to be wasted…it’s to be ‘invested.’

There have been many times in my life when I didn’t think that I was worth the $75 or the new pair of shoes or whatever.  Now I know that my life is of my choosing and I am driving my own bus (or flying my own plane).  How I choose to drive and reach my destination is entirely up to me and no one can tell me any longer what is right for me.  Why?  Because they don’t really know cause they don’t live in my body.

No matter what is put in front of me I get to choose how I engage.  I am mindful in how I decide by considering my internal cues in my body.  So if I’m flying somewhere and I have the option to get there faster, it may well be that I take a more direct flight.  If however I’ve been so busy that I haven’t allowed myself to slow down, it may well be that I take a flight with stop overs just so I can have some time to myself.  It’s simple and it’s of my choosing.

So for me right now….I don’t have wings and I can tell you that it won’t be the thing that stops me from moving forward.  Air Canada has wings and for an investment…they’re willing to share them with me.  Now that’s a friend. 

As I venture forth into the unknown and loving every minute of it (well most of it), I’m happy to be your friend and to share with you what else is possible for you in your life.

Have a Wonderful Weekend!  

Amy

There’s nothing I like more than considering things from a different perspective.  Today what keeps coming into my awareness is school and the grading system.  What is it really about and is it about nothing more than….’Measuring Up’ to someone else’ perspective along with fitting in and maintaining the Status Quo?

My daughter seems to feel that if she doesn’t get a certain grade/mark, than she is less than the others who have a higher mark.  What kind of message are we sending our children and are the people educating them fully conscious in their own lives?  Ouch!  I’m not dissing all teachers because I know that there are some amazing ones out there, however I’m asking the question because I too have a school age child.

Imagine a scenario where ‘our’ children are in school all day with teachers who aren’t conscious or present to themselves?  Now imagine at the end of the day when these children come home and we’re too tire to be consciously engaging with them?  Now throw on top of all of that, the knowing that we haven’t a clue as to what is going on in our child’s lives all day.

Children growing mentally, physically and sexually and for the most part I’m going to make up the story that a lot of this growing goes on out of our awareness.  What happens next is we wonder why our children are receiving lower grades and we only look at it from one perspective.  “You’re not measuring up and you’re going to flunk the course.”  Is it really about flunking the course or getting that lower grade or is it about something else?

As I engage in conversation with young adults (13-15), I become aware of how important it is for me to stay present to myself so that when my daughter comes home at the end of the day, she has someone who is connected to themselves to engage with.

I could say that I sit in disbelief by some of the things that I hear however it is not in disbelief that I hear the words flowing from the mouth of a young person.  Their truth is real and sometimes it causes me to gasp and as much as I’d like to say that the gasp comes from disbelief, it doesn’t.

I view myself as being an open person and I can also share with you that I am naive as a parent to the goings on in a school.

I’m 44 years old and I do not remember high-school being as it is now.  However, as I reflect upon my upbringing I easily make up the story that I was totally oblivious to what what going on all around me.  In a constant state of denial is what I learned.  Close your eyes to what you’re witnessing and it won’t be happening or it will go away.  Oh yes!!!  Pretend it didn’t happen.

If pretending that things didn’t really happen worked, why are teen suicides on the rise.  As I write the words my eyes fill with tears.  I must stay present to myself so that I can truly be present to my daughter.

In an abc news release, it was clear to me that our children are capable of pretending and may well be really good at it because we’ve taught them well.  I am no different, in that my life has only changed during the past few years however, I am present now and am capable at making a difference in my life as well as my daughters.

Amongst some of the young people being interviewed one said, “I know that this sounds like a cliche, however she always walked around and seemed very happy.”

How often do we tell our children that we know what it’s like for them when we truly can’t unless we lived in their body?

If we were to consider a decrease in grades or marks as a signal that something has shifted in our children’s life, then  maybe we could sit down and ask them if they need to talk about something.  I am very clear with my daughter.  If she needs to talk about something that is going on at school or in any other aspect of her life, the deal is that I listen without judgment and DO NOT COMMENT and only offer suggestions from a different perspective if it is asked of me.’

School can stress me out and I’m not even there any longer.  Imagine what it’s like for our children?

As school draws to an end, the air becomes lighter and breathing is just a little bit easier.

Have a Great Year End at School.

Amy

There’s nothing I like more than considering things from a different perspective.  Today what keeps coming into my awareness is school and the grading system.  What is it really about and is it about nothing more than….’Measuring Up’ to someone else’ perspective along with fitting in and maintaining the Status Quo?

My daughter seems to feel that if she doesn’t get a certain grade/mark, than she is less than the others who have a higher mark.  What kind of message are we sending our children and are the people educating them fully conscious in their own lives?  Ouch!  I’m not dissing all teachers because I know that there are some amazing ones out there, however I’m asking the question because I too have a school age child.

Imagine a scenario where ‘our’ children are in school all day with teachers who aren’t conscious or present to themselves?  Now imagine at the end of the day when these children come home and we’re too tire to be consciously engaging with them?  Now throw on top of all of that, the knowing that we haven’t a clue as to what is going on in our child’s lives all day.

Children growing mentally, physically and sexually and for the most part I’m going to make up the story that a lot of this growing goes on out of our awareness.  What happens next is we wonder why our children are receiving lower grades and we only look at it from one perspective.  “You’re not measuring up and you’re going to flunk the course.”  Is it really about flunking the course or getting that lower grade or is it about something else?

As I engage in conversation with young adults (13-15), I become aware of how important it is for me to stay present to myself so that when my daughter comes home at the end of the day, she has someone who is connected to themselves to engage with.

I could say that I sit in disbelief by some of the things that I hear however it is not in disbelief that I hear the words flowing from the mouth of a young person.  Their truth is real and sometimes it causes me to gasp and as much as I’d like to say that the gasp comes from disbelief, it doesn’t.

I view myself as being an open person and I can also share with you that I am naive as a parent to the goings on in a school.

I’m 44 years old and I do not remember high-school being as it is now.  However, as I reflect upon my upbringing I easily make up the story that I was totally oblivious to what what going on all around me.  In a constant state of denial is what I learned.  Close your eyes to what you’re witnessing and it won’t be happening or it will go away.  Oh yes!!!  Pretend it didn’t happen.

If pretending that things didn’t really happen worked, why are teen suicides on the rise.  As I write the words my eyes fill with tears.  I must stay present to myself so that I can truly be present to my daughter.

In an abc news release, it was clear to me that our children are capable of pretending and may well be really good at it because we’ve taught them well.  I am no different, in that my life has only changed during the past few years however, I am present now and am capable at making a difference in my life as well as my daughters.

Amongst some of the young people being interviewed one said, “I know that this sounds like a cliche, however she always walked around and seemed very happy.”

How often do we tell our children that we know what it’s like for them when we truly can’t unless we lived in their body?

If we were to consider a decrease in grades or marks as a signal that something has shifted in our children’s life, then  maybe we could sit down and ask them if they need to talk about something.  I am very clear with my daughter.  If she needs to talk about something that is going on at school or in any other aspect of her life, the deal is that I listen without judgment and DO NOT COMMENT and only offer suggestions from a different perspective if it is asked of me.’

School can stress me out and I’m not even there any longer.  Imagine what it’s like for our children?

As school draws to an end, the air becomes lighter and breathing is just a little bit easier.

Have a Great Year End at School.

Amy