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There’s nothing I like more than considering things from a different perspective.  Today what keeps coming into my awareness is school and the grading system.  What is it really about and is it about nothing more than….’Measuring Up’ to someone else’ perspective along with fitting in and maintaining the Status Quo?

My daughter seems to feel that if she doesn’t get a certain grade/mark, than she is less than the others who have a higher mark.  What kind of message are we sending our children and are the people educating them fully conscious in their own lives?  Ouch!  I’m not dissing all teachers because I know that there are some amazing ones out there, however I’m asking the question because I too have a school age child.

Imagine a scenario where ‘our’ children are in school all day with teachers who aren’t conscious or present to themselves?  Now imagine at the end of the day when these children come home and we’re too tire to be consciously engaging with them?  Now throw on top of all of that, the knowing that we haven’t a clue as to what is going on in our child’s lives all day.

Children growing mentally, physically and sexually and for the most part I’m going to make up the story that a lot of this growing goes on out of our awareness.  What happens next is we wonder why our children are receiving lower grades and we only look at it from one perspective.  “You’re not measuring up and you’re going to flunk the course.”  Is it really about flunking the course or getting that lower grade or is it about something else?

As I engage in conversation with young adults (13-15), I become aware of how important it is for me to stay present to myself so that when my daughter comes home at the end of the day, she has someone who is connected to themselves to engage with.

I could say that I sit in disbelief by some of the things that I hear however it is not in disbelief that I hear the words flowing from the mouth of a young person.  Their truth is real and sometimes it causes me to gasp and as much as I’d like to say that the gasp comes from disbelief, it doesn’t.

I view myself as being an open person and I can also share with you that I am naive as a parent to the goings on in a school.

I’m 44 years old and I do not remember high-school being as it is now.  However, as I reflect upon my upbringing I easily make up the story that I was totally oblivious to what what going on all around me.  In a constant state of denial is what I learned.  Close your eyes to what you’re witnessing and it won’t be happening or it will go away.  Oh yes!!!  Pretend it didn’t happen.

If pretending that things didn’t really happen worked, why are teen suicides on the rise.  As I write the words my eyes fill with tears.  I must stay present to myself so that I can truly be present to my daughter.

In an abc news release, it was clear to me that our children are capable of pretending and may well be really good at it because we’ve taught them well.  I am no different, in that my life has only changed during the past few years however, I am present now and am capable at making a difference in my life as well as my daughters.

Amongst some of the young people being interviewed one said, “I know that this sounds like a cliche, however she always walked around and seemed very happy.”

How often do we tell our children that we know what it’s like for them when we truly can’t unless we lived in their body?

If we were to consider a decrease in grades or marks as a signal that something has shifted in our children’s life, then  maybe we could sit down and ask them if they need to talk about something.  I am very clear with my daughter.  If she needs to talk about something that is going on at school or in any other aspect of her life, the deal is that I listen without judgment and DO NOT COMMENT and only offer suggestions from a different perspective if it is asked of me.’

School can stress me out and I’m not even there any longer.  Imagine what it’s like for our children?

As school draws to an end, the air becomes lighter and breathing is just a little bit easier.

Have a Great Year End at School.

Amy

There’s no doubt in my mind how easy it is to disconnect in a moment and not be fully present to our children.  After-all, we do it to ourselves quite often and without realizing being aware of it.

Being a parent is a huge responsibility and not one to be taken lightly.  How often do we jump to our children’s defence when they’re little and would go ‘into battle for them’ if that is what’s required?  “I’d cut off my own arm for my child.”  Wow, quite a noble gesture however in the ‘act’ of doing so, ‘Are you staying present to your child?”

Believe it or not, sometimes I’d say cutting off our arm would be an easy solution seeing that we wouldn’t have to ‘deal’ with the real issue.  I know, I know, it’s a little harsh however I’m speaking based on my own personal experiences and that of individuals that I’ve worked with.  Parenting is quite simple however, it isn’t always easy.

As we go into battle and be the voice for our children, I have but one question: Are you going into battle for your child to give him or her voice, or are you going into battle to fight for an old cause which is one that wasn’t dealt with for you as a child?”

I’d say that there’s one thing that the majority (if not all of us), find to be a challenge that we face not only as parents but as individuals who are constantly moving forward.

“Do we allow ourselves to be done with our past so that it doesn’t become our children’s future?”

I remember early on in my marriage being quite clear that if we were to have children that I would not tell the story of the ‘hurtful and mean’ things that people did to me as a child.  I would not be responsible for being the one to plant the seeds of dislike towards others for my child by telling them of something which I experienced when I was younger.  My intention was and still is to allow for our daughter to learn based on ‘her’ own experiences with individuals rather than from mine.  My experiences are unique to me as are hers for herself.

Our experiences allow for us to make choices in the next breath which will have an outcome.  What I know is that if I tell her the ‘story’ of one of my experiences, she may make a decision for herself based on my experience rather than her own.  Our children love and trust us and they also believe what we say, so best be take a breath and allow for them to grow and expand their lives based on the choices that they make.

There are times when I as the lioness, feel the urge to go into battle for my child.  What I also know is that in the next breath, I discover that I’d go into battle under false pretense, without being fully present or truthful to myself and therefore not being authentic in truly taking action on behalf of my child.

Can we as parents allow ourselves to not only be done with our past but to also remember that our past and our experiences are ours, not our children?  Do we create the safe space for them to create new experiences?  Or, do we impede on their personal growth by offering old stories of what was our experience, enabling the past to be projected in the future?  If our past wasn’t that great, why pray-tell would we share it with our children so they can recreate and repeat history all over again?

For more information about Amy or programs and services that she offers, please feel free to contact her at 902-832-9332 or amy@thepowerlieswithin.com

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As the weather changes, have you noticed that you feel different too? I understand the first things that comes to mind when I say that is, the weather is a lot warmer.  There’s more sunshine etc.

In this case I’m speaking about the needs of our body and what is calling to us.  Personally I allow my body to lead me in probably 98% of my life these days.   So what is my body telling me?  It wants the cells of my body to be nourished differently.

I’m not a health fanatic by any means even though I’m a registered nutritionist.  However what my body is calling for these days is more movement, water, more quiet and relaxing time.  These days if I put junk food into my mouth, my body revolts and why shouldn’t it?

For the past couple of weeks I’ve been getting up early and listening to a relaxing meditation before I even start my day.  Me who has never enjoyed sitting still for too long is listening to a meditation? Yes ladies, I kid you not.

I come down in the morning, plug in the kettle (and not for tea or coffee in fact I’ve had maybe 2-3 cups of coffee during the past couple of weeks and my body doesn’t even want it).  In stead I pour some organic lemon juice in my cup and then add my water and then sit and relax.

I Start my day off with 15 minutes that is just for me and no one else.  It seems to be exactly what my body is wanting these days.   Once I’ve relaxed for 15 minutes or so, then I drink my warm lemon water.

Warm lemon water in the morning is so beneficial because we need to rehydrate from our night of sleep.  What better way to do that, than with organic lemon and warm water. Why warm water instead of cold?  Warm water ( or room temperature) is easier on our body. The first thing our body does when takes in cold water is to work to heat it up.  Warm water and lemon is a perfect way to start your day along with a little relaxation time.

I know what some of you are thinking.  Why do I need to relax when I just woke up.  Well, why do you need to get up and start rushing?

Consider this.  You get up in the morning and instead of engaging the habituated way of rushing when the alarm goes off, you lay in bed for a few minutes and contemplate what your day may look like.  Oh yes, I hear your next thoughts. “I do the same thing everyday so it’s a no brainer, there’s really nothing for me to consider.” Well what if, and this is only a suggestion, you actually take a couple of minutes to consider what your day will actually look like.   The next thing I’m going to ask you is this, “When was the last time that you even considered your day or thought about how it may look?”  Hmmm, thought so! 

The sun comes up earlier, it’s warmer out and there’s something different inside and out.  You feel different and yet you simply believe that it’s because the warmer weather is here.  What if that’s only part of it?  What if along with the change in the weather your body is coming out of its own sense of slumber?  Have you ever considered that your body is waking up to something new?

Have a wonderful day and evening and be gentle with yourself and take time to smell the many wonderful smells there are in the air now that spring is here.

Amy

Yesterday I found myself perusing through the isles at the book store. I wasn’t looking for anything in particular and was simply allowing my body to lead. To me, allowing my body to lead is ‘healthy.’

I engaged in whatever came into my awareness when I was walking and allowed my eyes to take in what was there. Something caught my eye and I walked over with a sense of curiosity and yet I realize now that it was as though I was confirming for myself that I see the world through different lenses.

The subject that caught my eye was, ‘Healthy Life Style.’

My eyes glanced over the many books that were there. I allowed myself to pick up the books and see if the inside reflected what was on the outside. Unfortunately, Yes!

I’m 44, happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. I wake up in the morning simply happy to ‘be.’ I don’t plan for my day I simply allow for it to unfold moment to moment and breath to breath. I have what I’d call a Healthy Life Style.  My healthy life style goes far beyond the food that I put in my mouth, the shape of my body, how much I weigh and how my hair is done or whether I choose to wear make-up.

According to the many books that were there, “I do not have a healthy life style.”

Was I surprised by my findings? Not in the least bit. You see I believe that there are different perspectives of what a Healthy Life Style is. One is viewed as external referencing and mine…is from the inside where the signal that I am moves my physical being to engage. There is a deeper understanding and sense of who I am and what I am. And I am clear…I Am not what you see with your eyes. I am a quantum biological being. And yet our society tells us that what we see with our eyes is truth. My knowing, is my truth and my eyes, well sometimes they tell me something very different which doesn’t always align with the inside sensory cues in my body.

Do I always eat tofu and spinach? Nope and I do enjoy them quite often. Do I get up and exercise or jog every morning? Absolutely not and I enjoy exercising and walking quite often. Do I get up and make sure that my hair is perfect and make up is ‘just so’ before I leave the house?  No. And yet according to most of the books that I looked at, those are some of the requirements to have a Healthy Life Style.

Beyond technique, strategies and rules that tell me how to live my life and tell me what ‘qualifies’ as to whether or not I have a ‘Healthy Life Style,’ I’ll stand present to myself and know from the inside out that I have an absolutely wonderful life style.

Despite that I don’t have ‘perfect’ skin, that I do have cellulite, that I have gray hair and that my body doesn’t look like a ‘Barbies,’ I am a living breathing expression of what is possible in life.  Although my skin isn’t perfect, I glow with excitement and happiness for the knowing that I have in my body.  Although my body isn’t slim or trim and doesn’t have the physical appearance of what Healthy ’should’ look like, the excitement and passion that I exude, emanates from the core of my being and is felt by many.

I am a Registered Nutritionist who learned well that you are what you eat.  What I hadn’t learned, was that you are what you think.  I am not what others think of me, I am what ‘I’ think and beyond that…I AM what I Know.

With every breath I take, I grow and my life expands.  The physical appearance is a reflection of whatever it is that you need to see and has nothing to do with what I know as my truth.

Having a Healthy Life Style is whatever you believe it to be.  I believe in a world of Endless Possibilities.  Beyond what I eat or do with my body, I know that for me viewing the world/my life as an opportunity to grow and expand is indeed, “A Healthy Life Style.”

Aloha & hugs,

Amy

I have a different understanding of what seems to make our lives so complicated.  If we stop and plan for all kinds of things that haven’t even happened yet, we can possibly drive ourselves insane.

There are those who would beg to differ with me when they see and watch me create things that are going to unfold in the future and yet what I know is,  I have but this moment and this breath to engage only that which presents for me.  So if it’s information about something that is unfolding in the future, I engage in it and only in that moment and only in that breath.  I choose not to sit down with a  pen and paper and continue focusing on the last breath (because that breath is over).  Of course in the next breath if what is presenting is ‘future’ stuff again then I’ll engage it and not unless it comes up again.

When I say the ‘Plan is there is no plan,’ I don’t just say it, I live it.  I only engage in the moment that presents so my life truly isn’t difficult.

What is it that I’m noticing in this breath?  Wait a sec…it’s already over.  So what’s the use of getting wrapped up in it when it has already passed?  Now in the next breath, in the next moment, what am I becoming aware of?  What choice do I need to make ‘in this breath?’

When I say that I live my life moment to moment and breath to breath, I realized this weekend that others didn’t having an understanding of what I was sharing.  Is it important for me we have others understand me?  Absolutely not.  And yet, in that moment and in that breath that I was sharing information, it was indeed important.  Again…I engaged what was present for me.  Normally I don’t care if others agree, understand, support or whatever because truly form me, in a breath it won’t matter anyway.  However in the breath that I took, I found something held meaning for me that usually doesn’t and so…I engaged what presented in the moment.

As I expanded on what I said, I saw eyes open wider, heard breath deepening, I witnessed deeper connection to self.  It was magic.  What I’d like to share with you is that living in the moment, is magic.

In this moment and in this breath, what is it that I’m choosing to engage in?

Life can be insanely complicated when we’re planning for things weeks and sometimes months away.  Can you trust the knowing in your body and know that if something holds that much meaning for you that it will present again in another breath?  And when it presents, engage.  If it doesn’t, engage only what presents.

Why make up stories about what was or what will be?  It’s useless  really.  The past is over,  so is that breath.  The future hasn’t unfolded,  so you haven’t taken that breath yet.

Living in the moment and I mean truly living in the moment is a very different way to live.  Being creatures of habit we put so much wasted energy on what was and what will be that we lose track of the magnificence that the ‘moment’ has.

Live in the now and don’t worry about what was or what will be, Notice what is and engage from there. 

We can only truly live in this moment.  Not the one that was or the one that will happen, only in this one.

So in every breath I take and in that moment, I only choose to engage that which presents and maybe I’ll choose not to engage what presents….and that too is my choice and a whole different blog. 

Living in the Moment and Loving it,

Amy

Last weekend I engaged in what was a life altering experience. Eight women showed up standing tall and true in who they are. In my experience, we were all Honest, Open, Clear and Direct.

As I reflect and look around the table, I see women with lots of fire energy ready and willing to claim more of their lives. The intention for the weekend was clearly about Discovering the More that We Are. Both days were amazing and yet Sunday came with teeth and edge for all. There were times of tears and there was much laughter and sometimes I simply didn’t get what was so funny. However, they did so it was perfect.

The morning started off with lots of fire. I often share with people that it isn’t always easy being me. I take up lots of space, I speak what it is there for me and if I have lots to say….you’re gonna hear it. I am clear, I am unwilling to be less than who I am. I did it for years and it didn’t work well for me then and I’ll not do it now.

I became a huge trigger for a very dear friend of mine. As she spoke her truth my heart swelled with absolute pride for both of us. As I write, my eyes fill with water. What was moving through her, was hers and yet I was the trigger. (Sometimes it’s not always easy being the trigger.) As we both stood present to ourselves and each other, magic happened.

In my 44 years of life, never have I experienced something so powerful with someone who I hold so dear to my heart. I love Naomi from the core of my being. I knew what was moving through her was all hers and I was the gift. And in a breath, she became my gift.

All my life I would feel bad when I thought that I was the cause of someone else’ discomfort and would feel responsible for what they were experiencing. In this case I knew that I wasn’t ‘making’ her feel bad rather me being a trigger for her, she got to see aspects of herSelf which she had yet to claim. Here she was, being so open and honest knowing that as I stood present to myself, there was nothing that she could say that would offend me.

For part of my life, I took almost everything that everyone said personally and all it did was got me further away from my own truth. It was huge for me not to pull in on myself and somehow not take something that wasn’t personal, as personal. I was able to hear her words without making it about me. How many times in my life did I allow myself to feel less than someone else, smaller than someone else all because I heard their words as judgment and believing they were right and I was wrong. In my new view of the world, there is no right and wrong. There is only discoveries and experience that allow us to claim more of who we are.

The beauty of what transpired between two friends was raw honesty with lots of space for each to claim their truth. Her truth was in her spoken words and mine was in the willingness to create space for myself and listen knowing that although I was the trigger, there was nothing for me to claim in her agitation. What was mine to claim was knowing that I didn’t have to lose myself or feel bad even if I was the trigger for her.

How many times in our lives do we pull in on ourselves by getting caught up in someone else’ words. The only time I can feel that I’m less than another is when I curl in on myself and not allow myself to know my own truth.

She became a huge gift to me because she is a dear and close friend of mine. I now can thank her for the gift of knowing that I can stand present to myself and not even get lost in the words of someone who I RIG. My family, friends and all aspects of my life just got a whole lot simpler for me because I know that I no longer have to surrender mySelf, not even to someone who means so much to me.

When I’m engaging with others, I do not ‘waver’ in who I am and what I can say honestly is that in the presence of family and very close friends it could be a bit of a challenge. Now that has been dissolved, I become more and so does everyone around me.

Can you imagine a world where there’s room for all of us to speak our truth, to hear someone else’ truth and never for a second perceive it as criticism, taking it personally or feeling the need to look at it as they’re right and I’m wrong or the reverse.

When we’re connected to who we are and we Remember who we are in every breath, life isn’t only simple, it’s easy.

I stand in such a very different place because each of the women in that room were willing to speak their truth and knew…that I am their gift and they are mine. I don’t think up until last weekend that I knew how much of a trigger (gift) that I am to people in my life. And now I know that I’m also willing to see more of the gifts (triggers) that are in my life.

Wow! Imagine considering that the very person who ’causes’ you agitation as being a huge gift? Yes indeed, I have a Different View of the World.

Mahalo to all the magnificent women who were there and all of you who are part of my life. I have a deeper sense of Respect for all of you, in this breath.

Amy

Last weekend I engaged in what was a life altering experience. Eight women showed up standing tall and true in who they are. In my experience, we were all Honest, Open, Clear and Direct.

As I reflect and look around the table, I see women with lots of fire energy ready and willing to claim more of their lives. The intention for the weekend was clearly about Discovering the More that We Are. Both days were amazing and yet Sunday came with teeth and edge for all. There were times of tears and there was much laughter and sometimes I simply didn’t get what was so funny. However, they did so it was perfect.

The morning started off with lots of fire. I often share with people that it isn’t always easy being me. I take up lots of space, I speak what it is there for me and if I have lots to say….you’re gonna hear it. I am clear, I am unwilling to be less than who I am. I did it for years and it didn’t work well for me then and I’ll not do it now.

I became a huge trigger for a very dear friend of mine. As she spoke her truth my heart swelled with absolute pride for both of us. As I write, my eyes fill with water. What was moving through her, was hers and yet I was the trigger. (Sometimes it’s not always easy being the trigger.) As we both stood present to ourselves and each other, magic happened.

In my 44 years of life, never have I experienced something so powerful with someone who I hold so dear to my heart. I love Naomi from the core of my being. I knew what was moving through her was all hers and I was the gift. And in a breath, she became my gift.

All my life I would feel bad when I thought that I was the cause of someone else’ discomfort and would feel responsible for what they were experiencing. In this case I knew that I wasn’t ‘making’ her feel bad rather me being a trigger for her, she got to see aspects of herSelf which she had yet to claim. Here she was, being so open and honest knowing that as I stood present to myself, there was nothing that she could say that would offend me.

For part of my life, I took almost everything that everyone said personally and all it did was got me further away from my own truth. It was huge for me not to pull in on myself and somehow not take something that wasn’t personal, as personal. I was able to hear her words without making it about me. How many times in my life did I allow myself to feel less than someone else, smaller than someone else all because I heard their words as judgment and believing they were right and I was wrong. In my new view of the world, there is no right and wrong. There is only discoveries and experience that allow us to claim more of who we are.

The beauty of what transpired between two friends was raw honesty with lots of space for each to claim their truth. Her truth was in her spoken words and mine was in the willingness to create space for myself and listen knowing that although I was the trigger, there was nothing for me to claim in her agitation. What was mine to claim was knowing that I didn’t have to lose myself or feel bad even if I was the trigger for her.

How many times in our lives do we pull in on ourselves by getting caught up in someone else’ words. The only time I can feel that I’m less than another is when I curl in on myself and not allow myself to know my own truth.

She became a huge gift to me because she is a dear and close friend of mine. I now can thank her for the gift of knowing that I can stand present to myself and not even get lost in the words of someone who I RIG. My family, friends and all aspects of my life just got a whole lot simpler for me because I know that I no longer have to surrender mySelf, not even to someone who means so much to me.

When I’m engaging with others, I do not ‘waver’ in who I am and what I can say honestly is that in the presence of family and very close friends it could be a bit of a challenge. Now that has been dissolved, I become more and so does everyone around me.

Can you imagine a world where there’s room for all of us to speak our truth, to hear someone else’ truth and never for a second perceive it as criticism, taking it personally or feeling the need to look at it as they’re right and I’m wrong or the reverse.

When we’re connected to who we are and we Remember who we are in every breath, life isn’t only simple, it’s easy.

I stand in such a very different place because each of the women in that room were willing to speak their truth and knew…that I am their gift and they are mine. I don’t think up until last weekend that I knew how much of a trigger (gift) that I am to people in my life. And now I know that I’m also willing to see more of the gifts (triggers) that are in my life.

Wow! Imagine considering that the very person who ’causes’ you agitation as being a huge gift? Yes indeed, I have a Different View of the World.

Mahalo to all the magnificent women who were there and all of you who are part of my life. I have a deeper sense of Respect for all of you, in this breath.

Amy

This morning I sit here knowing how meaningful my life is.  It hasn’t always been fun being me and certainly isn’t always fun now however for the most part it is.

This week I gathered at my office with some truly magnificent women.  There were times when I heard the words coming out of my mouth and knew that others perception could be that they were harsh.  Nonetheless they came out of my mouth and consciously.  I am no longer willing to not show up in my life and be fully present to myself and those around me.  And most certainly I know that others will have opinions about that and I am so very clear…..What You think Of Me is Absolutely None of My business. I know things and I’m no longer not willing to share what I know and what it has taken me to reclaim, redefine and start living my life fully.

(Before I go any further, let me share that I do not believe in health issue like others do.  I believe that tumors, heart dis-ease, Irritable Bowel Syndrome you fill in the blank, are nothing more that unprocessed information held in the tissue of the body.  I have experienced my own personal health issue that I had since I was 6 until I was 40 disappear.  I have witnessed others health issues including tumors and IBS disappear as well.  I can no longer not share what I know and what I have witnessed).

In the beginning of 2007 I was introduced to a woman who had just gone through having a mastectomy and seemed to be of the mind set that it didn’t have to happen.  She had a knowing in her body that something else was possible other than what she had gone through.

My intention here is to share my experience of what it was me and what I witnessed.

She decided to come to me for CODE Model™ coaching sessions.  (CODE – Creation Out of Deep Energy).

Through many conversations she soon started to have an understanding of how easily we create our realities.  (And no I’m not saying she asked for Breast Cancer however her thoughts were manifesting in physical space and time).  Knowing that the body is the last frontier she knew that unprocessed, not digested or unmetabolized information was what the so called tumor was.

About two months after she came to see me, another growth had appeared and it was a little larger than the size of my fist.  She decided to start with the coaching sessions again.  After a very short period of time, what the medical society was calling a tumor had disappeared.  They had no scientific explanation as to why it disappeared except, “Maybe we misdiagnosed it and it wasn’t as bad as we had thought.”  Something the size of a fist?

It seemed that after being diagnosed with cancer, all of her family ‘knew’ she was going to die.  When she would speak with them, they all spoke with a ‘tone’ of know that she didn’t have much time left.  To be honest, she spoke and looked no different than I did meaning that her appearance and ‘mental’ state were not that of a ‘dying’ person.

We became great friends she and I.  She lit me up just thinking about her.  I called her ‘My Hippie Chick Friend’ which was my term of indearment for her.  We both had great laughs and could be in conversations for hours.  We had a very honest friendship and if I were to make up a story…it would be that the honesty was what was allowing her to live.  Without honesty, she would seem to wither.

So tumor free and full of life, she called me one day and sounded (what others call) depressed.  I wasn’t sure where it was coming from until she announced that her mother and sister were flying down to take care of her.  I laughed and and asked said, “Why?  Are you sick?”  We both laughed because she was really thriving in her life and was making changes in her life that were meaningful to her.  However, her friends and family were less than pleased by her changes.  Why?  Because she didn’t wake up in the morning asking herself what she could do to help them out or make their lives better.  She stopped doing for others and starting only doing what was fun for herself.

She blossomed and bloomed and it was wonderful to be part of it.  And…something changed.

Her family arrived with their doom and gloom outlook and all of a sudden she started to allow what others thought of her to be more important than whether or not she was happy and having fun.  I would call the house and her sister and mother would lie to me about her being there.  “oh you just missed her.  She’s gone for a walk.”  After hearing this a few times I started to wonder whether they may be lying.  A couple of days later I received a call from my friend on her cell phone.  She was speaking in a very low voice.  Her words sent shivers up my spine and my body became chilled.  (I know how powerful words are and how they create our reality if we believe what we’re saying).

“They’re killing me.  They no longer let me do what I want to do, they’re screening all of my calls and they listen in on my conversations when they think I’m on the phone.  I can’t breath.  They’re treating me like I’m dying when I’ve just started to live.  I can’t do this anymore.  I’ve decided to call the hospital and check myself in so that I don’t have to deal with them running my life.”

I went to see her in the hospital.  Her hands were swollen and she didn’t look like the person I had seen but days before.  During our 20 minute conversations, the swelling in her hands were gone and life returned to her face.  I made reference to her hands so that she could see how life sustaining meaningful conversations could be.  She smiled and said, “I need to get out of here when you get back and I’m sending them home.  I don’t need their help”

I was going to be leaving for a week and we had plans for when I got back.  I called her the Friday and told her that I was staying another day.  She shared with me that she was checking out on the Saturday and to give her a few days and then we’d get together so she could go apartment hunting.  We were both excited about it and I could tell by the strength in her voice that she was back and fully awake, ready to move forward.

A week later my husband was on the computer and asked if I had read the emails.  He never asks and I was curious as to why.  He asked, “Did you know that________ died?”  I held my breath for a moment and the tears slowly started to flow.  What happened?  How could she be so strong and present, being ready to leave the hospital and then die?

I went to the funeral service and after I spoke with her mother.  “Did she ever make it home?  Oh no she responded.  We wouldn’t let her.  She wasn’t able to take care of herself and there’s no way that we could.  We told the doctors to keep her there until she died.  It was becoming too much work for us.”

She checked into the hospital cancer free and died the same way.  They couldn’t explain why she seemly died in her sleep.

I believe (and this is my belief), that if she couldn’t live her life in a meaningful way, her way, then she’d rather not live at all.

So why am I so passionate about working with women and sharing with them everything that I know?  Because I know that no one has to die of health issues.  Lets get honest with ourselves and give ourselves permission to upset and not say yes when we really want to say no.  Stop being so damn nice to everyone else and sacrificing your own being.  Hidden behind the labels of Mother, wife, daughter, crohn’s, cancer, manager, supervisor etc., are individuals wanting to live.  Our jobs, titles, labels are not who we are.  Why wear them with a badge of honor when you’re grinding your teeth, holding your breath and dishonoring who you are?

Don’t beat yourself up for choices you’ve made in the past rather start choosing differently now and move forward and create the life that you’ve always wanted.

I remember one of the times my friend called me and said, “Tell me what to do?”  (Telling people the steps that are required…beyond being honest, is not something that I do).  She was in tears repeating, “I’m trying, I’m trying.”  With a firm voice I said, “You need to stop ‘trying’ and start doing only what it meaningful to you and absolutely nothing else.”  She stopped and crying and in that breath everything changed for her and that is when she started to live her life for herself…up until she allowed external references to override the knowing that she had in her body.

I honor myself and those in my life and am unwilling to not share what I know with them and to sit back and watch them die.  I don’t want to stand quiet while people are going to ‘die trying’ especially when I know there’s another way.  I love the women in my life and always share with them what else is possible and….The Possibilities are Endless.

Amy

(Written August 29th/09  Hidden in another blog.  Now I choose for my metaphorical blog to be witnessed and experienced). 

So many different journeys and yet all so similar. What does it take for us as women to break from the past of limiting beliefs to discover the potential that we hold? Each woman standing tall, in who she is sharing the unique truth of her own experience, sends ripples out into the universe and touches another woman who is completely unaware of what just happened. And yet, there’s a knowing in her body that something has changed.

The ripple affect has been proven with butterflies and their beating of wings. What happens when a woman can no longer stand still in her knowing and her wings start to beat to music that only she can hear and yet..others can feel?

In a constant state of being/metamorphosis, we are what it takes for this our world to change.

Sitting here writing out side, I listen to the robins singing their song. What becomes interesting for me is that they have several songs. All very melodic and touches my soul as I inhale their beauty and magnificence. They remind me of who I am and I liken myself and other women to nature and all its beauty. Whether it be tree, bird, chipmunk or weed, at each stage of our life there is an unfolding and there is magnificence to each and every stage. At one point in my life I would have said that it goes unnoticed by most. What my heart tells me today is that we notice it, we just don’t speak of it in fear of what others will think of us. That is one of the stages that I have moved through. I know that in a breath the next unfolding of who I am becomes yet again an awakening of a different aspect of who I am.

Since I have awakened to my own potential, it is as though with every breath a layer is shed, a new bud appears. I am in a garden of perpetual growth and I have planted my own seeds since my awakening.

A great friend of mine shared something with me this morning and I could feel it as my truth.  As women Decloak and unveil so that others can see the magnificence that we hold, another woman’s thought can become your truth. Why? Because as the words leave another persons lips, the ripples goes out and the truth awakens in your body. It’s not a mind share. It’s a personal sharing of something unique to one person that enables another person to awaken to their own truth. Truth at a much deeper level in the body and yet at a much higher level of consciousness. Where there were no words before, out of the mouth of another awakened presence, there are now words for the experience.

I liken myself to all living creatures. From animals to plants. Each of us a living expression of what becomes possible when allowing the ‘knowing’ in your body to lead you to the divine truth which is unique to you.

Women around me are waking up and it fuels my being.  I become stronger, taller and that much more magnificent because I know that I AM not alone.

The flower that gets planted and unattended to will grow and maybe not flourish. The baby bird in the nest if left, may survive but not grow without others around it. Are we as women any different in this ‘garden of perpetual growth?’

Right here, right now in this breath, there are no words to end this. This is only a beginning.

With much RIG, (Respect, Integrity and Generosity of Spirit)

Amy

Today I awaken to who I am and in this breath, I AM SEKHMET RISING.

The living and breathing expression of who I am becomes a force of transformation when I allow two expressions of who I am to join and integrate.  What happens when the crucible and the spear meet and join forces with each other?  What happens as I allow full expressions of female and male ‘mana’ to mingle?  Sekhmet Rising is what happens.

In this moment, in this breath I am more than I have ever been in my life.  Standing tall and strong and speaking with conviction, the voice of Sekhmet is heard.  There is no questioning from others as Sekhmet enters a room.  There is a gentle and yet strong knowing  that what is about to take place will not be questioned as the knowing in the body emanates and is part of the field.  Although others voice their doubts or apprehensions, in a second breath they also know what they have never known before.  They may not understand or have words for it however in ‘her’ presence all is known to those in her life.

I believe that this is the first time in my life where I have recognized or known that crucible and spear are different and yet are both their in every  breath  I take.  Yesterday I had a belief that they were separate, today I know that they are not.  I am kind, gentle, caring and loving and…I am honest, open , clear and direct.  All of this is simply a different way of expressing the godforce that I am.  And in every breath whether I appear different or not, I am the same godforce.

With a knowing that male and female, crucible and spear are not separate from each other, a sense of being whole or complete is a state of being which I now can claim as the essence of who I AM.

Sekhmet