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My Articles The Freeing of Self Today was such an interesting day for me and I sit here tonight fully knowing that there’s a chance that I won’t be able to express what I truly feel moving through me. It’s going on 11 at night and I’m sitting here in the peace and quiet of my family room. Hmmm, I take a deep breath as I sit here thinking about the day. I did a recording and I’m still amazed at how I’m still discovering so much about myself. Here I was doing a recording and as the words came out of my mouth different times there were “Aha” moments for me. Tonight as I sat responding to emails and listening to the general hum that goes on around the house when you have husband, children and of course pets, there was this incredible sense of being free that simply washed over me. I realized today why I’ve been feeling so great over the past year. I’m free. When asked today what has made the biggest impact on my life, I paused as I listened to her finishing the question and the answer was right there for me. As I took a deep breath and exhaled, Being Honest and True To MySelf at ALL TIMES I freed MySelf from my own lies. From the secrets that I was taught to keep. The lying that I was taught because if I were honest, I’d hurt someone’s feelings. No consideration that maybe when people found out that you lied to them, that they may not appreciate it. A life of deceit. Talk about a toxic environment and I never had to leave my house but I did have thoughts of trying to leave my home. My home within myself. I don’t think that I’ve ever put that out there for everyone to read/hear or see before, but there were points in my life when I thought about cashing it in. I’m not different than anyone else and in my raw honesty, I’m free. I’ve been told not that long ago that my honesty is brutal. Funny, seeing how when I lied like carpet that everyone’s opinion of me seemed that I was really great. Must have been those times when I was lying and telling them what they wanted to hear. By being honest there are no limitations on my life. No set restrictions as to what I can and can’t do. No pretending or lying to anyone or myself. Getting honest with myself was the last task that I had to accomplish for myself. My task is complete and achieved in the beginning of March. The only one that I’ve really lied to is myself. When things were shitty in my life, I lied saying that my life was life that because of x,y and z. Why would I want to take responsibility for that? Not me. Not then. Now that I know that I am completele responsible for my life, I know that there’s no fooling around or should I say wasting my time. It’s not anyone else’s time that I’ve wasted but my own. Funny thing is, now time seems totallly irrelivant to me. No watch, no idea what the day is sometimes, certainly no idea of the date is, No reason to really care about detail because I have no limitations on my life and it just unfolds exactly the way it should. And that has happened since I don’t take my attention away from myself to look at my watch, check the calendar or listen to the news 4 times a day. Life is simple and freeing. I laugh when I think that all I had to do was to get honest with myself and…all those around me. That’s it for me tonight. I go to bed tonight knowing that I took the steps that I needed to, to set myself free. It’s the least that I could have done for mySELF. A question for you. Do you think that you owe it to yourself to get honest with yourself and others, in order to set yourself free and have no limitations on your life/dreams. My dreams are now a reality just because now that I’m free, I make them so. Time to ponder… What If? And the possibilities are endless! Amy McNaughton RNCP |
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