Growing Forward Personal Growth Services

Last weekend I engaged in what was a life altering experience. Eight women showed up standing tall and true in who they are. In my experience, we were all Honest, Open, Clear and Direct.

As I reflect and look around the table, I see women with lots of fire energy ready and willing to claim more of their lives. The intention for the weekend was clearly about Discovering the More that We Are. Both days were amazing and yet Sunday came with teeth and edge for all. There were times of tears and there was much laughter and sometimes I simply didn’t get what was so funny. However, they did so it was perfect.

The morning started off with lots of fire. I often share with people that it isn’t always easy being me. I take up lots of space, I speak what it is there for me and if I have lots to say….you’re gonna hear it. I am clear, I am unwilling to be less than who I am. I did it for years and it didn’t work well for me then and I’ll not do it now.

I became a huge trigger for a very dear friend of mine. As she spoke her truth my heart swelled with absolute pride for both of us. As I write, my eyes fill with water. What was moving through her, was hers and yet I was the trigger. (Sometimes it’s not always easy being the trigger.) As we both stood present to ourselves and each other, magic happened.

In my 44 years of life, never have I experienced something so powerful with someone who I hold so dear to my heart. I love Naomi from the core of my being. I knew what was moving through her was all hers and I was the gift. And in a breath, she became my gift.

All my life I would feel bad when I thought that I was the cause of someone else’ discomfort and would feel responsible for what they were experiencing. In this case I knew that I wasn’t ‘making’ her feel bad rather me being a trigger for her, she got to see aspects of herSelf which she had yet to claim. Here she was, being so open and honest knowing that as I stood present to myself, there was nothing that she could say that would offend me.

For part of my life, I took almost everything that everyone said personally and all it did was got me further away from my own truth. It was huge for me not to pull in on myself and somehow not take something that wasn’t personal, as personal. I was able to hear her words without making it about me. How many times in my life did I allow myself to feel less than someone else, smaller than someone else all because I heard their words as judgment and believing they were right and I was wrong. In my new view of the world, there is no right and wrong. There is only discoveries and experience that allow us to claim more of who we are.

The beauty of what transpired between two friends was raw honesty with lots of space for each to claim their truth. Her truth was in her spoken words and mine was in the willingness to create space for myself and listen knowing that although I was the trigger, there was nothing for me to claim in her agitation. What was mine to claim was knowing that I didn’t have to lose myself or feel bad even if I was the trigger for her.

How many times in our lives do we pull in on ourselves by getting caught up in someone else’ words. The only time I can feel that I’m less than another is when I curl in on myself and not allow myself to know my own truth.

She became a huge gift to me because she is a dear and close friend of mine. I now can thank her for the gift of knowing that I can stand present to myself and not even get lost in the words of someone who I RIG. My family, friends and all aspects of my life just got a whole lot simpler for me because I know that I no longer have to surrender mySelf, not even to someone who means so much to me.

When I’m engaging with others, I do not ‘waver’ in who I am and what I can say honestly is that in the presence of family and very close friends it could be a bit of a challenge. Now that has been dissolved, I become more and so does everyone around me.

Can you imagine a world where there’s room for all of us to speak our truth, to hear someone else’ truth and never for a second perceive it as criticism, taking it personally or feeling the need to look at it as they’re right and I’m wrong or the reverse.

When we’re connected to who we are and we Remember who we are in every breath, life isn’t only simple, it’s easy.

I stand in such a very different place because each of the women in that room were willing to speak their truth and knew…that I am their gift and they are mine. I don’t think up until last weekend that I knew how much of a trigger (gift) that I am to people in my life. And now I know that I’m also willing to see more of the gifts (triggers) that are in my life.

Wow! Imagine considering that the very person who ’causes’ you agitation as being a huge gift? Yes indeed, I have a Different View of the World.

Mahalo to all the magnificent women who were there and all of you who are part of my life. I have a deeper sense of Respect for all of you, in this breath.

Amy