Growing Forward Personal Growth Services

Over the past year or so there’s no doubt in my mind that people who have known me all of my life now see a different person.  Even people who have known me just over the past year notice a change, however they like the change.  The nice, malleable Amy has left the building. 

Here’s a definition of malleable:

So for all of the years that I was ‘malleable’ everyone loved me.  Why?  Quite simple.  Everyone came first in my life and I always came last.  It’s so much nicer for everyone else when you keep them happy, say what they want to hear, do what they want you to do, pretend that your life is always sunshine and when theirs isn’t…be the kind ear to listen to them.  Hell, what’s not to love?  But my question is what are the stakes involved.

A friend of mine asked (not all that long ago), how do you manage to always stay present to yourself and others?  My answer was quite simple and still is the same.  “For me it’s a matter of life or death.”  There is my answer.  If I lie to myself or anyone else, I take the risk of manifesting a health issue of some sort.  As I remain present to myself, I’ll be healthy.  As simple as it seems, take a look around you and pay attention to how many people in your life are sick?

I was engaging in conversation with a client the other day and she made the comment that if she was healthy, others around her couldn’t handle it.  What an interesting thing to come out and say.  Well I know that as she stays present to herself, her health issues will disappear and the people in her life will still will be alive in-spite of her speaking her truth to them.

I’ve had many people during the past year disappear from my life.  However, I have been attracting new people to me and they are absolutely wonderful.  And – it isn’t that the people in my life before aren’t wonderful, it’s just that I’ve grown and I must move on for the sake of my own evolution.  I shared with a friend of mine a few weeks ago and mentioned it to another this evening…”The best way for me to support or encourage someone, is to stay present to myself and only do the things in my life which are truly meaningful to me.”

So if a friend of mine is putting on an art show or speaking to a group of individuals and I don’t really want to take part (for whatever reason), the best way to give my honest support is to not go.  And that is being a true and honest friend.  I can’t imagine sitting there and wishing I were at home in my comfy pj’s with a cup of tea and honestly say that I was there to support or encourage someone now could I?

So does being honest with people cause them pain?  Quite possibly and…they’ll get over it a lot quicker rather than have them find out later that you lied.  A lie has teeth and will come back and bite you in the ass every time.    And you might as well plan on getting over yourself right now if you say that you’re lying for someones own good.  The reality would translate into something like this.  I didn’t want to tell them cause I was scared shitless how they were going to react.  Don’t kid yourself that your doing it for their own good.  You’re doing it for your own good. 

I know personally for all of the times in my life that people lied to me ‘for my own good,’ really pissed me off cause it wasn’t for my own good.  I would have preferred to know the truth from the start.  It’s a game I feel that we play because of our own fear.  So we make up stories about what others will think or feel or react.  Well the best way to find out what they’ll think, feel or how they’ll react, is simply by telling the truth and/or asking them.

Letting Go of The Past AND…Growing Forward

Amy