Growing Forward Personal Growth Services

Yesterday I had booked an appointment to see a doctor.  I kind of laughed as I thought about the whole thing because I haven’t been to see a doctor since January 2006.  This is a record for me because I used to be there all of the time.  ‘Sick’ seemed to be me middle name.  And yesterday, the only reason I was going (or so I thought) was to get a referral for a massage.  We have a plan where up to so many dollars are covered for massage so why not have it covered when we pay for it anyway?  Oh yes and by the way, I’m also very clear that being covered or not does not make an impact on whether or not I go.  It’s simple, I see (and feel) the benefits and so I go regardless. 

So as I’m sitting there waiting I started to look around the waiting room.  “Is it Flu? – Would your stomach pass the acid test? – Are you experiencing chest pain?  Have you been getting headaches?”  And the list goes on.  Sitting there I felt like it was an advertising space for anything other than “Health and Wellness.”  An older couple walked in and the woman sat beside me.  I smiled and said, “If you arrive feeling o.k. and start looking at all of these posters you’re bound to leave feeling like there has to be something wrong.”  she laughed and started looking around and she smiled and said, “yes, you’re right.”

Well after waiting for about a half hour I decided to see how far behind the doctor was running because I too had another appointment to go to.  Well as it turned out I opted to go back later on because I chose not to have my other appointment waiting for me.    So I return four hours later and got to pondering over the intelligence behind me returning to wait yet again.

This time as I sat there, I looked around the room and wondered why the individuals were there and I was curious if they would consider the fact that there are other ways of regaining your health?  So I sat there ‘observing’ and pondering this thought.  There was a little girl there maybe 3-4 and so full off wonder and cuteness.  I listened as I heard the words come out of her mother’s mouth.  “The doctor is gonna make you feel better.”  My eyebrow raised as I heard the little girls’ response.  “But mommy, I don’t feel sick.  I’m all better now.”  And who knows, maybe this little girl was feeling better and did she really need to see a doctor?

Then I realized why I was there.  I was there to confirm for myself that there is no one out there that can ‘fix’ me in here.  And isn’t it amazing that when my daughter was younger that I quite possibly told her the same thing.  And she now knows that she needs to pay attention to what is going on in her body instead of looking outside of her to see who else could make her better.  So at a young age we teach our children to not trust their own bodies but to know that someone else is ‘responsible’ for making them better.

As the waiting time starts to increase, the individuals are starting to get agitated but no problem…there’s a pill for that.    I too once sat there annoyed because I had to wait for the doctor to tell me what was wrong when really I already knew.  And there were times when my body was simply so exhausted and needed a day off but guess what…I needed a doctor’s note to prove I indeed needed to be off or I could not get the time off work.  Isn’t it interesting that we have to show some kind of ‘proof’ that we need to take a day or two off?  Guess we’ve been taught at such a young age to lie that it seems almost ‘legit’ to requier ‘proof’ and not to mention pretty sad.

My husband has been experiencing some back pain over the past week and his thoughts of what is going on  is different than mine.  However he has had some really great experiences in the past by going to see a chiropractor.  So I said to him, “Well if that is what you feel you need then do it.”  His response was quite interesting as I pondered over in only a short while ago.  “To go to see the chiropractor I’d have to go and see a doctor first and I’m not willing to waste my time.  And if I had to pay to see ‘that’ chiropractor, I wouldn’t go anyway.”

Hmmmm, how many times in our lives do we go to see the doctor because it’s paid for when we know that there are other options available but don’t see ourselves as worthy enough to invest in the alternative for the ‘good’ of our own health?  Hey!  I’m worthy.  Tomorrow morning I’m going to relax and have a facial, pedicure, aromatherapy massage, scalp massage and some other stuff done and…I’m not covered by any insurance to have this done and I’m doing it anyway.    If we just ‘allowed’ ourselves to do what we really feel would make us feel better ie; take a day off – go for a massage, I’m convinced that the doctor’s office would be empty.  Instead people sit there and complain about waiting so the doctor who is clearly not experiencing what is going on in your body can attempt to pick the right pill so that you’re symptoms will stop.  Your doctor isn’t ‘responsible’ for your health or your life.  Hey, check out some of these online dictionary meanings for ‘responsible.’     

Would you go to the doctor and ask them what’s wrong in your personal life?  Of course not.  But that indeed is what we’re doing when we’re asking them their opinion on our health.  Isn’t your health personal to you?  Shouldn’t you take on some kind of responsibility for what is going on in/with it?

Doctors don’t have crystal balls, they have prescription pads.  And we bitch and complain about our health care services because of the long waits and so many people are sick and blah, blah, blah.  Man!  Where does it end?  It’s no ones responsibility to ‘take care of you.’  Hmmm is that it?  As children we grow up and become adults and no one listens anymore so we seek what’s missing in our lives so we go to the doctor because our belief may be that ‘At least they listen?.’  If that’s the case and who knows, it very well could be and if it is “We’re in a sad state of affairs.”

Letting Go of The Past AND…Growing Forward.

Amy